:yeahthat:

I was in a slightly similar boat to you although I did not have negativity from others such as my mum too (you poor thing!!) My Dh was completely ignorant to all labour information with my pg and even though he came to birth classes with me he was not engaged. I ended up saying to him he was not coming to the labour if he didn't "pull his socks up" and do some research and prove to me that he was going to be a good support partner - the one I wanted. I had another friend lined up to help and put it simply, I didn't need a hanger on, I needed a supporter.

He did come to the party and was present at the birth but it only highlighted how much he was unprepared in the end.

So, this time around, I have laid out the same ultimatum. Either he gets up to speed and gets on board with my birth plan or he is in charge of taking charge of DD and I'm going with my friend and my midwife. He can see I am serious and he is reading !

You deserve to be surrounded by people who can support you and respect your wishes - remember that. Your DH may be nervous and unwilling to see you in pain. That is fair enough... but.. he needs to understand what he is saying to you is not helpful - your pain tolerance in labour is completely different to pain tolerance in real life and your pain tolerance in a natural labour is often very different to that in an induced labour. He needs to research as studymum said and come to you with an informed opinion not an emotional one. As for your mum... more fear there probably, not sure what you can do but you should not have to listen to negativity as it can really get you down.

Remember also that statistically you are more likely to be more successful getting a natural delivery if you have a doula or midwife with you and dedicated to your care. Is this an option you can consider?? Maybe a student middie or doula if its a cost issue?? You sound like you need some people on your side! GL