How do I let go of the negative feelings about Bellas birth and forgive my body, my mind and the system for letting me down??

DH and I will be TTC early next year and I really want to be able to let go on the negative feelings and the fear and focus on getting the VBAC natural birth that I *wanted* with Bella. How do I go about that??

I want to breast feed my next bub - how do I make sure I get some milk this time??

I want to try for a VBAC - how do I get rid of the nagging voice that says "your going to fail AGIAN, might as well book the c-sect now"

But most of all how do I get rid of the idea that if my new bub gets all of these things that its not fair to my baby Bella?? She is my perfect little girl and I dont want a new bub to be any different...but I feel guilty wanting a better birthing / feeding experiance for him/her..

Sorry its a bot of a ramble..

Thanks for reading and any advice would be great!!

Kate xox