Firstly, what does labour actually feel like? For me, it started as bad labour pains and built up to an intense, overwhelming feeling which is hard to describe but I liken it to standing with my belly right in front of a wood stove. When the door was opened (a contraction) my belly would be blasted with this intense, burning heat, and when it was closed, the pain instantly disappeared. The pushing stage feels just like you are having a bowel motion and so can feel very satisfying, although uncomfortable as you ARE trying to pass something the size of a rockmelon! However, the moment of crowning was the moment of greatest pain for me in my first birth. It literally felt like someone was holding a flame to my groin! I believe that this pain can be reduced considerably by giving birth upright as my subsequent birth crownings were much more pleasant

Being prepared for childbirth can make a big difference in the level of pain you experience (assuming a normal birth) and how you cope with it. It is like being forced to run a 20km marathon with no preparation. You would find that agonising but if you had prepared for it for 9 months, your perception of the pain would be different, you would have coping skills and tricks to use to reduce pain. Labour is much the same. Knowing what to expect, practicising different positions and breathing to cope with different stages, having good support people, can make all the difference to how you perceive pain during labour.

My own experiences have been thus:

First birth was 8 hours long, no practice but lots of reading, willing but inexperienced support people. As a result, I coped well until the contractions started hurting bad. Then I lost it, and tensed up in panic, and not surprisingly, the pain intensified even more! My support people tried to encourage me but as they had less knowledge than me, I didn't trust a word they said (thus the importance of picking at least one support person who has been through birth, pref. the kind you hope to have). It was only when a lovely midwife took charge that I calmed down a bit and got on with the birth. I later found out that they all thought I would have to have a caesarean because the baby still hadn't descended even after 5 hours of labour. Fortunately, we got our act together!

Second birth was a 12 hour posterior birth, 3 support persons including my mother, lots of yoga practice. This birth went well until I hit transition. I changed my positions to cope with the labour as needed, lots of hot nappies, massage etc, but unfortunately no one picked that the baby was posterior and so the transition went on for about two hours. I didn't have any skills left to cope so I collapsed and refused to participate in the labour (doesn't work!). When the midwife realised the baby was posterior, the dr was called in to turn the baby around. Not as bad as it sounds, and once that happened, I sat on the midwives' knees and pushed my baby out. That was very satisfying!

Third birth was 5 hours, 2 support people, LOTS of breathing and yoga position practice from Active Birth Handbook. I stayed upright and active until 7 cm, then moved to the bath where I stayed until the baby was born. The loveliest part of this birth was how in control I felt thoughout it. It never felt overwhelming even through transition. I know some of that is just experience but it was also feeling like I had the skills and support I needed for whatever I encountered in the labour.

Hope this is helpful.

Sue