Nellbe, I'm really sorry to hear that you feel shame about the way your childbirth experience turned out. Before our modern era with all its great medical technology childbirth was the leading cause of death for women (still is in many parts of the world) all the hypnobirthing classes, postive affirmations and deep breathing in the world couldn't have saved those women. Not only did women die but thier babies too. Now we're lucky enough to have the know-how and technology to save women and babies who otherwise wouldn't have made it through the birthing process and we're made to feel guilty for not being positive enough. Being positive doesn't make your pelvis wider, it doesn't stop your baby from being overdue and it doesn't make a non-progressing labour progress.
IMO if your lucky you have an relativley swift, uncompliacted labour. If you're unlucky you have a really traumatic one and thats just the luck of the draw. If your one of the lucky ones, on the whole thats all it was..... luck!!! If your one of the unlucky ones its NOT your fault!!! You didn't fail at childbirth, you were lucky to survive a potentially life threatening experience. Two hundred years ago you may not have survived but your gravestone wouldn't have said 'here lies so and so, failed to have a positive birthing experience'
Before I had Yasin I went to classes, read the books, did all my excercises, yada, yada, yada..... fat lot of good it did!!! I would have been better off reading about babies and childcare and letting labour take care of itself. I'm not even sure why women are expected to be martyrs in childbirth anyway. We don't try and suffer through a headache, toothache or menstrual cramps. No-one expects us to 'breathe through the pain' at the dentists.
I'm all for empowering women and taking a natural approach to pregnancy and childbirth but I think that its gone a bit far when women are made to feel guilty for having a difficult labour or lower pain threshhold .
Next time round I'm hoping for an easier labour rather than one that takes 66 hours but if I don't get it I won't feel bad about using every medical resource available to me and I won't wait so long before I ask for pain relief.
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