I missed your second post audax. It's SO frustrating. I have GOOD friends debrief their disappointing births to be and still make decisions that are not in line with their optimal birth second time around. I care deeply about these women and want to take over and tell them what to do but but I can't. TBH I generally don't get into big discussions about their second births. I just can't do it. We need debiefing for the debriefers sometimes!