Isn't it funny.... (i.e. so wrong...)

[BellyBelly]

... that once you are pregnant, you belong to the system. If there were anything else wrong with you, organ transplant needed, cancer etc... you have choice and options regarding your care and its respected. But soon as your pregnant, it's my way or the highway, and you are not so fortunate to have choice.

Religiously speaking, a JW can refuse treatment, blood tranfusion etc, but pregnant and you are a bloody idiot for not listening, or there is verbal abuse, no choice, bullying, and scare tactics. If you make a researched, educated decision you are a hippy or irresponsible. So wrong.

[Lulu]

Oh yes, if you were a cancer patient and decided to research alternative or complimentary therapies that would be fine.
If you are a women wishing to research alternative therapies/ways to birth your child - all of a sudden pregnancy and birth are LIFE THREATENING.....

[BellyBelly]

I am loving it that people are looking for alternative methods to help move their labours into action, we get loads of women trying for labour inductions in the centre... but their stories are making me so frustrated at the care they are getting!!! Lots come days, even a day, before they are being induced and you know its hardly any time, women need to think about starting it around week 36. Funny, never thought it would get to me!!! I always tell women, 'You know it's your choice don't you?' but the majority just say they have pushed for all the time they have. Frustrating.

[LaDeeDa]

Hi Girls,

I found this at the angliss FBC when I initially booked (just had a crappy midwife I think coz all the others have been great)
she gave me a massive verbal earbashing as DF and I decided not to have ANY tests for DS (Dan's brother has Downs) our deicison was that we wouldn't abort even if the baby did have a genetic abnormality so whats the point in testing for it????
Then when we went for our dating scan we got another ear bashing from the sonographer.....
It's amazing how everyone seems to know whats best for you and makes you that you know it

[BellyBelly]

Maybe because they do it because they know it works to make you feel guilty or irresponsible. Power trippers.

[Lulu]

Wow, you must have had the crappy one! I didn't even bother going to the doc till I was over 20 weeks (I KNOW when Im preg!), didn't bother with most of the tests and no one seemed to mind. I had the exact same reasons for you refusing those tests....

Seriously, there is one crap middy there - she gave my sister heaps too. The rest are great.

[LaDeeDa]

Hey Lulu - I think I found her ....LOL all the other ones's I've seen have been BRILLIANT!!!!

Kelly - I agree with you some of them are on a power trip, at the end of the day it's my baby and my choice

[Beach Mama]

I'm not sure I will verbalise this the way I need to so bear with me!
There is so much emotional baggage and guilt placed upon mums, right from when we fall pregnant to when these babies are born, and so much of it is for the care of our little ones.

With other illnesses and diseases we are making choices for ourselves esentially and that seems to be ok, but because during pregnancy we are making decisions for our babies too -it seems to be a different shift from teh medicos ie: oh your chioce will mean baby will be sick/threatened/at risk/stillborn etc.....(The amount of times I have heard the term "dead baby" during my VBAC journey is disgusting)
The thing is, who cares for these babies so much more than anyone else!?? US of course! One line I wished I had used with senseless obs at my last 2 appointments is "I think I love and care about this baby more than you do so I will be the one to make the decision in his best interest". The usual doubt/guilt etc does come in if you aren't sure about your decisions because you would think the experts know what they are talking about and you start doubting yourself and want the ultimate best for your baby and can end up feeling a bit powerless or confused.
Does that make sense?

[Butterfly_Princess]

The usual doubt/guilt etc does come in if you aren't sure about your decisions because you would think the experts know what they are talking about and you start doubting yourself and want the ultimate best for your baby and can end up feeling a bit powerless or confused.

Totally agree with that.

I have to admit, I had wonderful midwives, they never, ever, pushed me to do something I didnt want to do. The decisions I made I felt were respected and followed. Everything was explained to me perfectly, and I was happy. This actually surprised me, coz I was 18 when I gave birth, I thought they would have over looked me a little bit, being so young and "uninformed" (little did they know I was a member of a great, informative forum called BellyBelly).
The only issues I had was my after care and the fact I was out the hosp within 24 hours.

I do think its sickening that it seems a LOT of midwives, OB's, GP's etc are using scare tactics and pretty much making the decision for the mother, when really, mother knows best...I think all they are entitled to do is inform us of everything we need to know, so that WE can make our own decision. When things litereally become life-threatening, then its in their hands, but while things are still perfect and ok, then we should be able to do what WE choose to.

[LaDeeDa]

Hey Tan - you make perfect sense!

[tsgirl]

I agree completely that pregnant women are not afforded the respect & consideration they deserve when it comes to their health choices!

However, I have to disagree that this is a problem solely faced by expectant mums. The health system as a whole (particularly the public system) doesn't cope well with educated, motivated individuals. It is focussed on a paint by numbers approach that is designed for a 'best fit' outcome where as many individuals as possible can be pigeon holed with the same care. It is outrageous that patients are not treated with more respect, offered more choices, expected to be more responsible for their care. This is mostly about economy .. far more cost effective to offer a paternalistic system that gives 'most' patients 'adequate' care.

From personal experience your choices as a tx patient are zero. You're a number in the system and it takes a LOT of energy to demand individual care. There is NO private care available for tx ... which is a ridiculous waste of tax payers money, but that is a whole other argument.

If you chose to supplement your cancer treatments with natural therapies you will be patronised at best. Heaven forbid you choose alternative treatment exclusively, you better be ready for abuse on a grand scale.

Something as simple as choosing a vegetarian diet is enough to invite ridicule and judgement from many in the health system. And don't for a second think having researched your decisions and being armed with the science to back them up makes you immune.

Health in this country, including that available to pregnant women is following a frightening path. We are heading towards the US system of diagnosis & treatment determined by bean counters, not medical experts. The best chance we have of reversing this trend is to inform ourselves thoroughly and NOT be intimidated by members of the system who's best interests are served by quieting our protests. If you are not comfortable or satisfied with the health care you are receiving SPEAK OUT. Then put it in writing, to the professional & institution involved, to your family and friends, to your local member & to State & Federal Health Ministers. This country is witnessing a crisis in health that is appalling, but the most frightening thing about it is that much of the witness is silent.

Sorry .. long ramble, happens to be a topic close to my heart.

[Mumma2three]

I can't imagine Dr's would promote "alternate therapies" for cancer patients. I think we all have choices and part of the research is finding the right carers to let you make your own choices, whatever the situation. I don't really see pregnancy as the hard done by minority group.
I have never found (3rd pregnancy) that I have ever been pushed or swayed to do anything except what I want. Maybe Im lucky, but I dont' think so. Most of my friends have done things "their way". If I have not been happy with something, I go elsewhere. The only issue I've come up against is the hospital wanting me out within 24 hours, but that is more a financial issue. I just went somewhere else.