thread: Me again .... new midwife thinks I am having a baby elephant....

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  1. #1
    Registered User

    Mar 2008
    In my own twisted little universe
    1,046

    Unhappy Me again .... new midwife thinks I am having a baby elephant....

    Sick of me in this section yet? ....LOL

    So I just came home from a midwife appointment and I'd seen one that I haven't seen before.....I figure she must be new there....

    Anyways ..... told her about the last couple of days and she agrees that things are happening and that I've had a small show etc

    Jumped up on the bed and she was feeling my abdomen and she got this really funny look on her face, looked at DF, back at me and then back to the belly.....

    She asks me if any of the other midwives have taken a guess as to size of bubs, I told her that no one had mentioned size but I would be curious to know......

    She takes a deep breath and says that I am definately having a big baby - she thinks 9lb's PLUS.....

    She then asked me if my mother had natural births to which I told her she had C-Sections for both....

    She told me that she feels I should be open to pain relief, forceps, episiotomy and possibly even a C-Section....

    I came right out and asked her if in her opinion she felt I might not be able to deliver LJ naturally and she just gave me this weird arse look again and paused ....then said that she didn't believe that I wouldn't be able to but DF and I should take some time to discuss all our options.....

    Now I feel really uneasy .... like she seems to think that I have no chance to get this kid out by myself but she didn't want to say anything .....

    DF is 6'4 (13lb baby) and I am only 5'3 and I was a 6lb baby....

    Have any of you ladies been on the small side and had big boofers naturally?
    Before seeing his chick today I felt very confident that I was made to do this and wouldn't have any bothers but now I am feeling very doubtful .....

    Anyways thanks for listening.....

  2. #2
    BellyBelly Life Subscriber

    Feb 2006
    South Eastern Suburbs, Vic
    6,054

    Whaaaaat? That's rubbish and she should know that. How disconcerting.

    My first bub was born naturally (no pain relief, so it can be done, I didn't even consider asking, which surprised me), and he was 9lb4oz. It can be done!! My ds's weight was length, so that's not harder to get out at all! Many heavy babies are just long babies.

    Are you having bub in the normal wards, or the FBC? Hugs again, that m/w should never have instilled anything but confidence in you and your ability to birth well!

  3. #3
    Registered User

    Jun 2008
    Tassie
    2,567

    hun i pushed out an 11 pounder all natural

    Sounds to me like that mw has to be new cos she has no flipping idea!

  4. #4
    Registered User

    Sep 2008
    Croydon, Victoria
    1,754

    There isnt much way of telling what will happen until the time comes! My mum had 3 c/secs due to a small pelvis. I on the other hand had DD 7lb 12oz and DS 9lb both naturally. I had an epidural with DD and no pain relief with DS. I also had no stitches or other intervention.

    I think everyone needs to be open to the possibilities of pain relief, c/secs and other intervention. If it means saving the life of you and/or your baby, you do what is necessary.

    She should have been more tactfull about her 'concerns' which may turn out NOT to be a concern at all.

    Good Luck

  5. #5
    Registered User

    Mar 2007
    6,900

    You have to check out this thread!!

    Honestly, I have no idea how she thinks she can tell the size of the baby and your ability to birth it by feeling your tummy anyway .

  6. #6
    Registered User

    Mar 2008
    In my own twisted little universe
    1,046

    sorry guys forgot to mention that this was at the FBC....

  7. #7
    Registered User

    Jul 2006
    6,869

    I was told DS was going to be a tiny little baby.....i dont call 7lb9oz tiny LOL

    Im soooo over middys and OBs telling mums they are going to have big babies.....so what if they are...our bodies can still birth naturally regardless of a size in most cases. I only worry about the head size...not how much they might weigh!!

  8. #8
    Registered User

    Dec 2007
    Sunny Qld
    14,682

    Bah.. I wouldn't listen to her!!! HOW awful of her to try and get you to doubt your ability. You truly don't know unless you are there - in the moment - and THEN you will see what this baby wants to do.

    I was told - by midwives AND my OB AND a growth scan - that my bubs were going to be over 10 pound and MASSIVE basically.

    DS - 8 pound 2.5 oz
    DD - 8 pound 11.5 oz

    They were both REALLY LONG - and SKINNY.

    So that could be what she is feeling - long limbs. Its not uncommon for a tall guy to have tall babies. both mine are always off the growth charts for height - because their dad is 6 foot 7 - even though I'm only 5 foot 5 (and a half).

    I wouldn't even listen to her. She's an idiot. JMO of course!!! lol

  9. #9
    Registered User

    Feb 2007
    ACT
    681

    Hi Dee,

    I am 5ft 4 and had a 9lb 3oz baby, vb with gas and peth. My smallest and firts born was my hardest. So big does not make it harder necesaserly (sp).

  10. #10
    Registered User

    Mar 2008
    In my own twisted little universe
    1,046

    Thanks girls .... I has made me feel a lot better hearing you stories....

    I think your right she is just a bit strange and it's just a bit crappy that I drew her as possibly the last midwife I'll see before I go into labour....

    SJ - I had a look at that link to the pics - full on thanks for showing me thatr.

    Nelle - yeah I know it's not the kind of reaction I expected to get from a BC midwife.... has me wondering if she is from dleivery suite and just filling in ......

  11. #11
    Registered User

    Oct 2008
    312

    Hi Dee,

    Sounds like the midwife was overstepping her skills! I had soooo many u/s with DS and the last one on his birthday put his weight 250g above what his birth weight was and as he was only 1.5kg (3 lb 10 oz) that is a big difference. So even u/s gets it wrong.

    My sister is average to small height and weight and her second bub was 12 lb 8 oz (5.5kg) born naturally - squatting, I think she had a bit of the gas but nothing else. I think if she had been told that the bub was going to be that big her anxiety would have gotten in the way of her birthing.

    I think your midwife was trying to be helpful in letting you know you might need a comprehensive birth plan but I dont think she can pretend to be a soothsayer and correctly guesstimate.

    Good luck with the birth and remember your body was made to birth your baby.

  12. #12
    BellyBelly Life Subscriber

    Feb 2006
    South Eastern Suburbs, Vic
    6,054

    I too wonder if she was someone filling in, it might not be unheard of if it's really busy in the FBC I guess? If you want, feel free to PM me the name of the middie and I'll see if I recognise it, I've been through the FBC twice now.

  13. #13
    Registered User
    Add Jakabella on Facebook

    Nov 2007
    in Love!
    2,586

    Dee
    I was told I was having a BIG bub and then another told I was having a little bub and ended up haveing an 8 pd 2 oz bub - so a nice size!
    I reaqlly dont think that they can tell by feel or even by US - I think that you should stay calm and realxed and know that YOU CAN HAVE WHAT EVER BIRTH YOU WANT!
    Please dont let her talk you into (or scare) you into something you dont want - believe me I know what thats like.

    I wish you all the best and send you relaxinf vibes!

    Kate xox

  14. #14
    Registered User

    Sep 2008
    Adelaide
    196

    Hey DoubleDee,
    That's so exciting bubs is due any time now!!
    I have heard many stories of "odd" midwives through family members who are Drs....
    I think the majority are fantastic and have their heads screwed on correctly and go by proper medical training, but a fair few think their "motherly instincts" and "old wives tales" are a lot to go by. I delivered my 9lb 2oz son with midwives and they were great, having no problems (or intervention - nor was it offered which I preferred).
    This particular midwife sounds a bit strange. Nothing can stop you from trying to give birth naturally to your babe, despite the size (if that's your preference). There are options if you find after giving it a go and you physically can't.
    Try and relax and don't take what this m/w has said as gospel as she doesn't sound medically accurate. Personally if she happened to be there for my birth I would ask for one I was comfortable and familiar with (you're well within your right). She also shouldn't be pushing you into any decision you aren't confident with - if in doubt seek a doctor's opinion - they are definitely the experts.
    Good luck!!
    XX

  15. #15
    BellyBelly Life Subscriber

    Feb 2006
    South Eastern Suburbs, Vic
    6,054

    Are you friggin serious?! That's so strange...I can't see why you would need a c-sec just for a big baby, since pelvises stretch. That's just a strange thing for a Birth Centre middie to say...I'm confused now...

  16. #16
    Registered User

    Jan 2009
    hiding under my desk!
    1,432

    DO NOT LISTEN TO HER......
    she has never felt your tummy before so she has no prior history with your baby.....
    just forget what she said


    YOU CAN BIRTH THE BABY YOUR BODY MADE!!!!

  17. #17
    Registered User

    Dec 2006
    between the mountain & the ocean
    757

    hun i wouldn't take any notice of that midwife. My friend birthed a 12 pound baby without pain relief and not even a graze!

    Your body will handle it, you can do it, it is what women were born to do!