Ok... I have been happily living in a world of denial and for many reasons have been doing so, but I think I need to pull my head out of the sand and face facts.
Fact 1 - My EDD is 24 December
Fact 2 - That means as of today I am officially 36 weeks.
Fact 3 - I have a section booked for 24 Dec, but a second possible date for 18 Dec.
Fact 4 - I have one more week of work left and a lot to get finished, so really need to still be there for that.
Fact 5 - I cant go over my EDD, and cant have an induction due to previous section, so that is why I have the section booked in JIC...
So, in 7 days from now I am officially on Maternity leave and will have two weeks to try and encourage this baby out into the world, or at least get things started so I can push the possible section date back to 24th... I really reallly reallllllllly want a vbac, and will do anything I can to have it, but am time limited, so need to find a way not to circum to the pressure... which is part of the reason I have had my head in the sand.
But reading Ina May, I know how important it is to be in the right headspace, and admitting up to this is what I think I need right now...
Last weekend DH and I finally got almost everything ready for our new little guy, I only need to get the car seat done, and am not concerned about that, as it can be done while I am in hospital, and pack my bag, which I am doing tomorrow, so I feel organised and as ready as I can be...
I am so hoping we can have a VBAC, but OK with the booked date of the 24th for the section, and pleased my Ob is still good with that, however,I am getting very uncomfortable and may just fall into the section on the 18th... think I will need some willpower to resist the temptation of it. And a good argugment for my OB.
I was going to wait till I finished work to face up to this, but something in me tells me I needed to get this out now, in order for me to get through these last few weeks... Thanks for listening. xo
Its such an intense time isn't it. Sending you lots of strong VBAC vibes.
Before DS was born, it wasn't until I wrapped things up at work and settled into my last few weeks at home that I really got my head around it all, so my gut feeling tells me you'll start to relax into things once work is out of the way.
Can I ask why you can't go over the 24th? It seems like that is putting far more pressure on you to get the show on the road than what there normally would be, when usually you would be allowed to go past dates by up to 12 days. I think that you having these dates in your head is a big part of the problem - it's like having a deadline for a work project or uni assignment and you *know* you have to get it done by then but you really doubt that you can kwim?
So your plan of attack should be to focus on things that will get your body ready to get this baby out. You're 36 wks now so start using evening primrose oil capsules and put them inside your vagina and also start on the raspberry leaf tea. There are a few other herbal supplements that you can take as well. Maybe also see Lulu about getting some remedies to help keep you calm and in a good state of mind.
Aaaahhhhhhhhh, so the reason I missed the post office today reveals itself!!!!
I'll add in one more essence, repack and it will be on the way first thing tomorrow xoxoxo
Ruf. I know you are very capable of getting your VBAC so do try to wipe those dates out of your mind. Erase them from your calendar even. Try some visualisation of the baby being in position and ready to go and of your body starting to make things happen. Visualise your cervix opening and dilating and picture the the whole labour and birth if you can. Get some hypnobirthing CD's to listen to and this might help.
I also agree with Trillian, start on the RLT and EPO if you haven't already and definitely talk to Lulu about remedies.
Thanks Lulu... I have PM you with a new addy to post to... Hope that is ok...
Trillian - Long story on the reason I cant go over dates, but I try to be brief... The danger period for a relapse of my MS is in the month or so after giving birth. I need to be as healthy as possible, and as physical unstressed as I can (after having a baby) to try and reduce that risk. With CJ, we did the section on my EDD and I have been symptom free since, and I really want to stay that way, especially with two babies to take care of... Last time we all (my drs and I) agreed that this was the simplest way to keep my physically stress free, and it seemed to work. So we are working on the same plan this time. I am OK with having another section if it comes to that, but you are right, I have it there, and I can feel it holding me back at times...
Ok, so I do need to stop focussing on the dates, and just let is go and see it happening. And I am nearly there... Been reading more birth stories, and picturing myself there, and it is starting to feel real.
I have a trip to the health food shop planned tomorrow, and a Lulu remedy on the way... And by tomorrow I will have all my work finalised, and can really let go then.
Thanks Lyn. I know you are in the same place as me, so thanks for the support. You know I am behind you too. xo
Good luck hun. I hope you get your VBAC. Tie up all those loose ends, then let yourself relax and sleep as much as possible, to relax your body and keep you energized.
From what you've written, you have an awesome attitude towards the whole situation Ruf and I think if anything will help you achieve your dream, that will be the deciding factor.
I wish you all the best with everything and can't wait to read your BA when the time comes, whichever way your little man decides to enter the world.
Ahhhhh! I see. What I think will be the very best thing for you to do too is to stay offline and completely tune out to what is going on - here and FB if you are on there. Because while everyone is well meaning when they say they can't wait to read a birth annoucement or hear about it, it is contributing to any pressure you feel you are under to get this baby out on time. Even if you don't think it is contributing, it is on a subconcious level and for some women they need to be able to let go 100% of any baggage they may have that is stopping them from going into labour. You just need to be able to dedicate the time you have left to you and getting yourself ready and surrounding yourself with positivity.
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Need to come out of the land of denial....
I think you will!! Try not to let the pressure of the dates get to you. Good luck!!!
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