Thanks for all your replies & lovly words. I had a look at the Spinning babies website briefly, as soon as it opened I remembered it from when I was trying to get DD out of her breach position. I'm finding it a bit confusing so I plan on spending more time reading it tonight when DD is in bed and it's not so hot so I can concentrate a bit better.
Hannah, I'm not too keen on going for counceling cause I had to go a few years ago after I was viciously assulted. I was forced to talk about very painful things and would get all worked up only for her to turn around and say "well our time together is up, I'll see you again next week" It would take me all week to get over my counceling session then for the same thing to happen again & again week after week. So yeah, not keen on going there sorry. But I do know what I need to do to turn my self around which is why I'm taking these steps to not rob DD2 out of the birth she deserves.
I feel spineless cause I didn't even give it a go to birth DD vaginally. I just looked at all the things that could go wrong and my heart condition, and just took the safe route.
All the women I told about my hope for a VBAC said "oh no, you CAN'T do that!". I decided that in fact I COULD and never looked back. My OB was totally supportive and besides if everyone said I couldn't then the challenge had been thrown. I'm a bit stubborn!
YOU CAN DO IT. IT DOES HAPPEN. THEY ARE WRONG!!!!
But, if it doesn't happen for you then don't feel bad. A healthy baby and Mummy are THE most important things to keep at the front of your mind.
Wishing you strength, resiliance and my very best cyber support. I will cheer you on!! You go girl!! xxx
Darling, we make the choices we do with the information we have at the time. The most important thing is that both you and bub are fine, mentally as well as physically. Please don't beat yourself up about not having a breech birth. Not many OBs will do them and there's a lot of scary information out there about them. Yes, they are possible if you have the support, but you have to feel confident you can do it. If you're not, then it's probably safer to have a c/s as fear increases adrenalin which can increase possible problems.
Please don't feel like you needed to be superwoman or anything. If you and bub DD were fine physically, are you able to work on embracing those parts of her birth that were good? Personally, I find counselling great for depression. If you're having difficulty processing the session afterwards, bring that up with your counsellor so together you can derive a way for you to deal with it. It may include journalling, painting or something.
I found the Spinning Babies site to be pretty difficult to follow tbh. Hypnobabies have a "Turn your baby" self hypnosis script you can download from their website and listen to on your ipod. I may be the wrong person to offer advice on this because I didn't know bub was breech, so didn't have the opportunity for him to turn. It's the only kind of birth I know.
There are some people like Rhea Dempsey who offer birth debriefing sessions. I don't know if she offers them over the phone or if there is someone in Brisbane who can do them. Some hospitals offer the service as well. You may find this useful to prepare yourself for the next birth.
Please don't beat yourself up or think you're spineless. Part of parenting is making the decision about what is safest for all involved. You're doing what you need to do now to be informed and empower yourself for the next birth.
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