Gosh, how awful for you ladies who had such traumatic births! I'm so very deeply sorry that you had to go through that
I was so blessed to have great support during my labour. I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH! I copped flack from people telling me I was having a 'cast of thousands' when I told them my SIL was going to be my second support person (along with DH), but it was the best decision I ever made. She's a midwife and was just so fabulous, telling me what was going on in my body, reminding me to relax when contrax came, telling me to lower my voice, trying to keep the 'tone' of things light and in perspective.
I think I had a really positive headspace throughout my pg leading up to the birth - I too was looking forward to it! I didn't want drugs because I wanted to experience it to the full. And I did. Yes, the pain shocked me - I thought my positivity would be enough to get me through. It wasn't - if it hadn't been for the support, I would probably have been a 'failure to progress' (as it was, I was in labour for about 20 hours, active labour about 6?). I wish I had've done some preparation, got more physically fit and practiced meditation. I certainly will be for next time. However, I did get through with the wonderful support, so it is possible, just wasn't as enjoyable as I hope next time round will be
Pushing (2nd stage) was really hard - I think I pushed for about 2 hours? And I felt like I couldn't do it. But hey, I did Crowning didn't hurt me - it was just a different sensation. Before the birth I was most afraid of tearing or being cut, but when the time came I just got into a 'zone' and I had a 2nd deg. tear which didn't hurt at all at the time.
The intensity of relief afterwards was like, ahem, sorry if TMI, the most amazing orgasm, LOL. Sooooo much beautiful relief that flooded my body with intense joy and I was just so relaxed, even though I couldn't help crying my heart out at the sound of my baby's first gorgeous cry. OMG, I'm getting emotional. Better stop now