The pain during labour

[Inanna]

LOL Heather Turland aka Rory!!!!! It is so so true isn't it?

I know for me I think while I am labouring of all the other women birthing, pushing, mothering. I feel a real spirituality with that. It brings us all together. Here we are in our most primal doing the most amazing things. Our bodies are just incredible.

I know also that I feel an incredible amount of love for everyone (not in transition ) during labour. The world seems just so right.

That first moment after birth when Icatch my baby (or my husband does) for us it's really important that our hands are the first to touch our child. That first moment of seeing this person who grew inside me. It's the most incredible thing! Hello, so this is who you are!

We should NEVER forget what an absolute miracle birth is and what a blessing these babies are.

[AnyDream]

Ok, I'm just throwing this in in the interests of having a balanced representation of experience.

My labour pain (contractions) was the worst pain I have ever experienced in my life, it was worse than the worst period pain combined with diarrhoea cramps multiplied by a factor of about 20. The pain was actually bigger than me - it seemed to go on forever and fill the entire room. I'm convinced that my brain is just particularly sensitive to the particular type of prostaglandins involved because I could actually feel the pain crawling through my brain with each contraction. Strangely enough for me the actual pain of pushing/baby crowning/tearing was so much less than the actual contraction pain.

[Aranah]

I'll add to it too in the interest of balance. I would have said the pains not unbearable as with my first two labours it didn't seem unbearable, and I never felt like I couldn't do it. I never had drugs with either, not even gas. They were 8 and 10 hours. The pain actually felt good like some describe.

With baby Leo he was bigger, he was posterior and the pain was unbearable. I had no let up of pain between contractions, the labour took a lot longer than I've had before (14 hours) and my back felt like it was breaking, my spine felt like it had broken in two. I only had gas for pain relief ( I would have had an epidural this time if I could have). I had pain in my tummy too from normal contractions, but the pain in my back was so great that it overrided anything else. The pain still continued and got much worse during pushing stage and I could barely do it. Then his shoulders became stuck and the pain was so great I passed out briefly at one stage. I am sure the pain was so much worse because he was not only posterior but he was so large (I am a tiny person). I still have pain in my back from it, I'm convinced that the birth must have damaged it somehow.

[Roryrory]

Tara I hadn't really thought about it, but you are right that with a posterior bub you don't get that relief from pain during contractions.
Now I am REALLY going to make sure this bub doesn't go the same way!!

[Emma1979]

im with marydean.... out of this world all encompassing pain... like nothing i have felt before and nothing i will feel again...

i had a fairly mild case of food poisoning a while back and started freaking out as it felt quite similar to the start of labour.... i now cannot identify whether i have period pain or upset tummy pain, it all just reminds me of that night, then that day, then night again. urrrrrrgh

it shocks me out that some people say it wasn't that bad for them, or even felt good! it just shows how different we are. it got to the point where i just wanted to die and that would have been a relief. sorry to be so morbid, but thats just how much it hurt. hurt isn't even the right word for it. okay u get the point.

[Adnil]

Marydean, Emma & Tara - thank you for your honest expressions! I feel that it's important to know the broad range of how people have felt during labour. It is amazing how differently it can be felt! TBH I'm not very good with pain I don't think, so I'm really trying to psych myself up for it, but not scare myself either.....it's a very fine line!

[Firstkid]

Hello!

I was induced and had a 10 hour labour. The contractions were the most painful thing I'd ever experienced - a similar kind of grating pain as period pain, but much more intense. I remember seeing one lady on TV describing the pain as "like a tough gym workout". Well, obviously I don't work nearly as hard as I should in the gym, as my pain was nothing like that! Having said that, they do say induced labours are more painful, so maybe a natural labour would be less full on. Also, I managed to get through the labour without anything except gas & air (and that actually made me feel worse, so I didn't use it much), so it was manageable pain. The most valuable thing for me was getting in "the zone" - accepting the pain, and trying to focus on not tensing up. The bath was a lifesaver as well. And once I got to the pushing stage, I found it so much easier - I think because I had something to do (push!), and because I knew the end was in sight.

All the best - you'll be just fine.

[Emma1979]

also just wanted to add, that i think with a vaginal birth with a 'reasonable' amount of hours of labour, the moment bubs arrives any amount of pain is suddenly irelevant.... this was not the case for me, as the hours i was in labour was completely unreasonable (!!!) and i didnt end up having a vbirth, but its how i imagine it would be....

baby pops out, you look down into her beautiful eyes, pain - what pain?? hehe

[paradise lost]

My labour pain started like a period pain, not particularly bad period pain. They got more intense and began to feel like a chinese burn deep and low in my belly, from my cervix basically.

The burning got longer and more intense with each contraction but i wouldn't say it hurt more, just that the longet the cx were the more intensity there was, kwim? It felt like i was a pop bottle being shaken and the pressure was more and more and then less and none.

I never had any pain anywhere but low down (one reason my midwives doubted i was in proper labour right up until she crowned, in fact i didn't even KNOW you could get pain all over your bump, i always assumed only your cervix hurt during labour so maybe that's why i only got pain there?). I was told not to push (they didn't think i could possibly be dilated, true labour was <4 hours) and i used the gas to help stave off the desperate urge to do so. Even without pushing DD crowned, your uterus can do all the work if need be.

Crowning felt like my pelvis was cracking open (not in terms of pain, in terms of sensation) and her head made a fiery stinging on my perineum which worsened until she was fully crowned and then died away a little during the gap between contractions. The next contraction i gave a little push to see what would happen and she shot out.

I found it the most intense sensation ever. Once when i was a teenager working on a farm one of the boys, mucking about, drove the van too close to the trailer i was stood by and pinned my thigh between the wheel arch and the metal trailer frame. The squeezing was so intense, i couldn't move at all, but it wasn't all that painful. Nothing broke and i didn't even bruise but the intensity stayed with me. Birth was NOT the most painful thing ever for me. I once tore the ligaments in my ankle that hurt WAY more.

Bx

[ttcno2]

Another point of view just to show how different we all are: for me the pain was very bad but manageable, but I just want to say that even when labour is not posterior (mine wasn't - i didnt have any back pain at all and bubs came out the "right" way), there is not ALWAYS a break between contractions. For me it was like extremely painful period pain - which peaked and then diminished a little, then peaked, and then diminished a little...however, I never felt painfree...and i felt totally ripped off about that!! I kept saying to my partner...where is the f**n break between contractions??!!
But I did only have a 3 and 1/2 hour labour, so cant complain too much!

[Julie Doula]

There certainly is broad experience on what it's like and it's good to hear from women who have experienced severe pain in labour. The pain from a posterior labour or an obstructed labour, or sometimes an induced labour, can be worse, and there are other factors that can make it pretty bad, too. At the other end of the spectrum are women who describe what they felt as "intense but not painful" and I did talk to one woman who had "no pain - I just felt funny"!!! (Nice work if you can get it!) I have been with women who were obviously experiencing much more intense pain that I had myself during my births. Their courage moved me very deeply. The one thing about the pain of birth - from "not so bad" to "the worst pain I've ever known" - it's yours. It's your experience, no one else's. I want to honour that.

Marydean that sounds really, really full on. After coming through that, how has it been for you? Did you feel, "wow, I did that - now I know I could do anything!" Did you feel traumatized by it? When you think about giving birth again, how do you feel?

Blessings to all you courageous women (even those of us who feel like absolute wimps (puts hand up).

[AnyDream]

Julie, thanks for asking. Yes i was deeply traumatized, at one point I stopped believing I was going to make it out of there alive and had what I call an out of body experience but what the drs call a psychotic episode (you decide...!). I spent several years healing that part of my experience emotionally and spiritually (and I'm no longer afraid of death!) but this time round I'm certainly not rolling up for a second serve. I have opted instead for a C/Section because the prospect of surgical pain with all its attendant risks and extended recovery period is so much more pleasant than what I experienced!

ETA: Emma, I understand what you mean about ppl who say they "forget" the pain once they are holding their baby...No way not ever! Hun, if you are having flashbacks to your labour (as a result of your abdominal cramping) this tells me there's still some residual trauma there for you. It might be helpful to read up on post traumatic stress disorder. Have you had the opportunity for some counselling/other emotional support to get over this?

[Snacks]

Gosh, how awful for you ladies who had such traumatic births! I'm so very deeply sorry that you had to go through that
I was so blessed to have great support during my labour. I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH! I copped flack from people telling me I was having a 'cast of thousands' when I told them my SIL was going to be my second support person (along with DH), but it was the best decision I ever made. She's a midwife and was just so fabulous, telling me what was going on in my body, reminding me to relax when contrax came, telling me to lower my voice, trying to keep the 'tone' of things light and in perspective.
I think I had a really positive headspace throughout my pg leading up to the birth - I too was looking forward to it! I didn't want drugs because I wanted to experience it to the full. And I did. Yes, the pain shocked me - I thought my positivity would be enough to get me through. It wasn't - if it hadn't been for the support, I would probably have been a 'failure to progress' (as it was, I was in labour for about 20 hours, active labour about 6?). I wish I had've done some preparation, got more physically fit and practiced meditation. I certainly will be for next time. However, I did get through with the wonderful support, so it is possible, just wasn't as enjoyable as I hope next time round will be
Pushing (2nd stage) was really hard - I think I pushed for about 2 hours? And I felt like I couldn't do it. But hey, I did Crowning didn't hurt me - it was just a different sensation. Before the birth I was most afraid of tearing or being cut, but when the time came I just got into a 'zone' and I had a 2nd deg. tear which didn't hurt at all at the time.
The intensity of relief afterwards was like, ahem, sorry if TMI, the most amazing orgasm, LOL. Sooooo much beautiful relief that flooded my body with intense joy and I was just so relaxed, even though I couldn't help crying my heart out at the sound of my baby's first gorgeous cry. OMG, I'm getting emotional. Better stop now

[Inanna]

I had a posterior labour with my first baby. I laboured for 33 hours - contractions began with a bang 2 minutes apart and remained that and closer for the entirety of the labour. It was so exhausting and the pain in my back was really tough.
For me though I was really well supported. I wasn't scared as I understood and knew why things were so intense. In the end DD was a brow presentation. It was undoubtedly a painful labour. But for me it was manageable and had a purpose.
I had a perforated appendix when I was younger which was intensely painful it was frightening and scary but for me birth wasn't as I trusted in the process, I felt safe and supported and I knew and believed in the end I would get that little person out!

It is wonderful to hear everyones different stories and feelings. I have a girlfriend who literally feels no pain in labour. None. Her second birth she didn't even know she was contracting.
She had a visit at her obs and he had asked to have a peek at her cervix as she was due - she was 8 cms. Her son was born half an hour later with absolutely no sensation of labour. Her twins were born vaginally the same way. Although with them she had the burning sensation of the head crowning but that was it....

We all experience labour differently. I believe feeling safe and supported eases the discomfort as does being able to move freely about.

[Inanna]

Natalie I missed your post some how. I do understand that feeling after the birth. For me it fills every inch of my being. The room is filled. Everyone looks and is gorgeous!
I am with you. Without the support I have had during my labours I wouldn't have made it. I believe we need woman support in labour. It's so important to me. To look into woman eyes that I know and trust is incredibly important. I love my husband immensley and I need him there but it's that woman connection that is so very powerful for me. That reminder that I am doing well, do I need to stand? Let's make a noise like a cow... Whatever it is for you. That woman connection for me is tantamount!

[Adnil]

Im in no way saying it didnt hurt cause it did but I believe that people tend to talk it up

I don't really think that's the case. I think it's just amazing how different every labour is for every woman. And even for the same women. I know women on BB who had had 2 wonderful births, and then a traumatic and very difficult one.

[Emma1979]

marydean..... looking back i think i definitely would have had something similar to post traumatic stress.... for about the first three months i couldn't sleep, as every time i closed my eyes i replayed the labour through my head in great agonising detail... still on occassions i seem to lie in bed doing this, but nowhere near as bad as what it was.... family/friends, those especially in the medical industry urged me to lodge a complaint with the hospital, in the hopes of maybe stopping what i went through from happening to someone else, but i found it too painful to put it into writing, as i was trying so hard to get past it and didn't want to relive it again (even though i seemed to be reliving it every night)...

as time goes on it gets better... no i haven't discussed it properly with anyone, did u? did it help?

[PinkPalace]

Sirens

All i can say it felt nothing like bad period pain! NOTHING!!!! Early labour felt like i had a full bladder and someone was sitting on me squishing it hard.

As labour progressed it was horrid back aches and pains - you cant get comfortable at all. I felt the back pain much more than any front pains. It was like your bones rubbing or something... hard to explain.

The birth well - it feels like you have to do a huge poo but that your bottom is going to turn inside out, The birth didnt hurt like the contractions because you can hold your breath and use your energy to push where the labour pains are just like waiting till they passed - which sucked ... they therefore felt much much longer in time than the contractions when you are birthing (pushing).

The thing i think hurt most is after the baby is born - you burn like hell and you feel like if you stand up your bowels are going to fall our your bum.

THis is just my experience, i had a very intense 2 hour established labour with zero pain relief (not even a hot pack, gas or DH there to massage me. I couldnt even walk around because i was stuck in the back of an ambulance - NOTHING!!!!!!)

I often feel if i could have walked and had DH there with some form of gas or something it would have been better. But at the end of it all - i honestly forgot the pain, it was a very out of body experience.

Everyones expeeriences are very different and their perception of pain is different so please dont get too hung up on our responses.

Best of luck with your bub!!!


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