I found submerging in a deep birth pool worked for me. They call it the "homebirth epidural". It helped a lot - but no side-effects that could set you up for ventouse, episiotomy etc.

Grandma (veteran of 5 births) used to tell us, "two thirds of pain is fear", so I agree that working through our natural & understandable fears during pregnancy, and having a caring support person during labour, has got to help.

Labour pain is very personal, it's very intense for some and quite manageable for others. There are factors that would make it worse for anybody - and factors that help. Try to mamximise everything that you know helps.