Firstly, congrats on birthing such a large baby so well. Just reading her size made wince LOL.

Secondly, as the others have said, there is no reason to believe that the ob has given you the correct information. Getting a second opinion is a great idea. However, based on the stories I have read here on bb, there are many obs who are too willing to insist on c/s, so ob no 2 might be the same. You have said this has put you off obs and with good reason, but there will be an ob out there who will allow you a VD, I'm sure. As you are reasonably far along and it might be hard to get into someone else, perhaps you could ring the 2nd ob and ask the question of him before your appointment. That way if he doesn't seem willing to give you what you want, you have a bit more time to find someone else.

I wish you good luck with finding a supportive ob and for a H&H pg and a great VD!