Tara I wish you every blessing and the power to heal this! I for one feel like this experience will always be with me, in one way or another (although I have done lots of work on healing it), but it is informing my birthing choices quite differently this time.

I also hope that this time round you can have a powerful and powerfully supported birthing process. I'm glad you've mentioned you are seeing a perinatal psych. I suspect you'll find, now that you have made the connection, that you will start to feel and understand and acknowledge and heal all sorts of similarities between your two births and the other surgical experience you had as it sounds like the medical system has not respected some of your most fundamental human needs.

Soooo glad my words have helped.
xx