I didn't want my mum there either, and then both my mother & my grandmother were there!!!

Whilst i fully understand your decision, there are some good reasons to have her there. Some people may disagree, but this is what i found helpful.

- Rather than swearing and yelling at your partner, you can tell your mum to shut the hell up instead!! You won't feel as bad because you know she understands what you're going through.

- It means there is a support person there for your partner. My mum was pretty much 'useless' to me (so to speak!), but Anthony couldn't have done it without her. Sometimes our partners are too busy worrying about us, and forget to look out for themselves, which is still important. It was good because mum made sure he was drinking and mum would give him a massage every now and then. It IS tough for them too - labour can be very long and while not in pain they're on their feet too (mine was anyway), and seeing you in pain is hard for them.

- Mum was able to take some post birth pics for me, instead of missing out on them. Even better if you want pictures if your child crowning and making its way into the world. If you go au natural - i bet you'll want your partners hand in yours and you lose your photo opportunities. Means he can also enjoy the first moment after birth with you. And for instance - if he cuts the cord, you'll have someone to photograph that too.


Mum & G'Ma, left within fifteen minutes. While Astrid does highlight a GREAT point about not sharing the baby straight away (don't do it!!!!! you need that time with the baby for yourself), you could just try to make it clear to your mum beforehand. That once that baby is born you would like her to leave.

Mind you, i never wanted my mum there and never got around to telling her. She was at the hospital already when i was in labour and came to say hello, wish me luck etc, but as i never asked her to leave she stayed. And i was fine with that.

Maybe try set some ground rules with your mum and "let her down slowly". Tell her, maybe she can come say hello but if you ask her to leave she does. Explain that you're uncomfortable with her seeing you that vulnerable. And if worse comes to worse, the hospital staff can get rid of her if she ends up there unwanted.

If you decide not to change your mind... this article may offer some helpful suggestions.

Saying 'No' to UInwanted Birth Support People