one of my closest friends has birthed 3 bubs...all over 8 pounds and has never had a tear or a cut...my best friend had an episiotomy due to forceps delivery and was all healed up within 2 weeks and started DTD at 4 weeks post-birth - her DH cannot detect any difference to her genitals and she tells me sex is a lot better than prior to birth I've read lots of things about ways to avoid tearing, e.g. active birth, breathing your baby out rather than pushing as the baby is crowning, perineum massage, hot compresses and not being on your back to give birth. HTH!!