one of my closest friends has birthed 3 bubs...all over 8 pounds and has never had a tear or a cut...my best friend had an episiotomy due to forceps delivery and was all healed up within 2 weeks and started DTD at 4 weeks post-birth - her DH cannot detect any difference to her genitals and she tells me sex is a lot better than prior to birth I've read lots of things about ways to avoid tearing, e.g. active birth, breathing your baby out rather than pushing as the baby is crowning, perineum massage, hot compresses and not being on your back to give birth. HTH!!
Just want to say that although the whole unknown factor of labour & birth is scary, please don't worry about something that probably won't happen. I birthed a 9 lb posterior baby with a not so small head & I did not tear at all. So it's definitely not a given.
Even if you do tear, you may not even know at the time. There is just so much going on!
Educate yourself on birthing positions & active birthing - our bodies are amazing! Good luck!
My first was a second degree tear - about 5 stitches on the perineum and one long labial stitch (by FAR the most painful)
My first was an induction with an epidural and my baby was only 6lb 14oz - by rights I NEVER should have torn BUT I couldn't feel a thing pushing and the midwives didn't direct me at all so went from crowning to out in less than a minute.
My second was nothing. Not even a graze. She was a completely unmedicated water birth and I pushed when I felt like it and I supported her head as she was coming out and slowing guided her shoulders and body - I didn't let the midwife lay one hand on me - I did what I felt needed doing and I am stoked I did.
This might sound dumb, but if you have a natural birth (completely drug free) you will feel what needs to be done. Get in a position that is positive to supporting your birth (I got on my knees in the bath) rather than flat on your back (which is where I was with my first) and your body will naturally do what it needs to.
IF you do tear - my saving grace was the water bottle when I pee'd - about 4 showers per day - and I was good to DTD 3 weeks after with minimal pain. Trust me, you forget it again in time for the next LOL
I know exactly how you feel....this is the one thing that bothered me the most about childbirth too!
I had an episiotomy and a forceps delivery. I initally refused the episiotomy but then realised my perenium probably hadn't had much of a chance to stretch during labour so changed my mind. I could have been a lot worse off had I chosen to tear. I ended up with quite a long J shaped incision but no extra tearing. Half of it healed within a few days but had a bit of a hiccup with the other half. 2 of the stiches dissolved to early but the gape wasn't quite large enough to bother restitching, that was pretty painful and it took about 4 months to completely heal.
It definitely did affect our sex life as I didn't let DH near there until DS was about 4 months old...I commend his patience! I still have some scar tissue which can be a little painful when we first start DTD or putting in a tampon etc but it only lasts a few seconds. So it definitely wasn't how I wanted things to go but I came out the otherside! Had my I birthed my baby naturally I would have opted to tear, but given the situation I think I made the right decision. Yeah the recovery was pretty uncomfortable but nothing I couldn't overcome. Next time round I know I won't be so scared.
Registered User
I've read lots of things about ways to avoid tearing, e.g. active birth, breathing your baby out rather than pushing as the baby is crowning, perineum massage, hot compresses and not being on your back to give birth. HTH!!
Reply With Quote
Bookmarks