For those who didn't tear - what position did you birth in?

[Arcadia]

Wow, there have been some great posts...

I was on my knees, leaning into DH who was sitting.

My midwife massaged and stretched the opening when I was in 2nd stage, and held the head back a little bit. I was a bit tentative to begin with when pushing, but then really started to get the hang of it, and I think I could have done some damage if my midwife hadn't helped me so much.

Water is supposed to be amazing, but bare in mind, the midwives can't see what's happening so well - so if you want that guidance on when to pant etc, I would go landwise.

Good luck with it. Tearing was my biggest fear in labour, but I only grazed (because darling DD had her hands up in her mouth when she was born!!)

[krysalyss]

I was on my back.

[CathyS]

Thank you so much! Esp Julie Doula! I hope it is helping other women on here as well thinking of positions to birth in.

I actually remember when my son's head was being born and I was taking my time (ring of fire) and she was like "Come on, let's get this baby out"...I did feel a little rushed now that I think of it.

[Glamourcide]

I didn't tear with DD (4-hr induced labour, VERY intense for a naive first-timer!) and I was sort of half-lying on my back, half-sitting, and using my arms to push my backside off the bed while I was pushing to make sure she was clear of the bed lol... I was worried that she would come out and I'd be sitting on her, kwim lol??

Umm, my biggest tip to prevent tearing would definitely be to take it slow and try to avoid drugs - I put my 'success' in not tearing down to those two things. I used gas at the start, and had pethidine (which did NOTHING to stop the pain, just made me really tired and no way am I going there again if I can help it) and I believe if I'd given in and had an epidural I would have torn because I couldn't feel that 'ring of fire' nad would have just pushed when told to by the midwives. It hurt like the bejeesus as DD was crowning but it let me know my limit, and to hold off until it had eased a little and I had stretched some more, so when I pushed again, there was room to move rather than just squeezing her through that awful burning feeling and tearing.
Don't let anybody rush you - I had one heinous midwife whispering in my ear threats of an episiotomy because I was 'taking too long' - I 'accidentally' kicked her to get her out of my face and went at my own pace. The thing that annoyed me was that I had laboured perfectly fine the whole time, and was only 'slowing down' to give myself that chance to stretch - the monitoring was showing that DD's heartrate was completely fine, she was not in any distress at all, I just needed to slow things down a little to NOT give myself some serious damage. Your body will let you know what's good for you - don't let a stranger tell you they know better.

I'm aiming for a more 'active' labour this time around, hoping to labour spontaneously so that I can move around rather than being confined to the bed hooked up to drips and monitors, and I'd like to try a more gravity-based position to birth in - probably on all fours as I find this quite comfortable when DTD and I imagine it would be a lot less draining on me physically to not be flat on my back or half-sitting, and holding myself up the way I did with DD. But yeah, I'm definitely going to avoid an epidural again so that I can 'feel' where I'm at and stop pushing before my perineum is ready, I'm convinced that was what did the job for me with DD - she had quite a big head for her size (and was 8lb 1oz born, so not tiny by any means).

[Julie Doula]

Gothmum, you did good to be so assertive in a situation like that when most women would feel quite vulnerable. Sounds like there was no need whatsoever for you to be hurried up - quite the opposite! You did well to (ahem) kick away the unhelpful advice, stick to your guns and go at your own pace. Sheesh if a 4 hour primip labour is "taking too long" what hope is there??

I agree with you that being unmedicated (ideally) helps you manage the pain better, keep your freedom of movement and use of gravity, and avoid tearing because you can feel what's going on and 'listen' to your body.

[Inertia]

ITA with the idea that being unmedicated helps with tearing. If it hurt too much then like with everything else, you stop what you are doing. I have always had the philosophy that all pain is good. I mean, if i stuck my hand on a burning hotplate without realising, the pain would make me notice and I'd remove it again quick. If it were not for the pain, I'd have a cooked hand, iykwim. So I am not really one to go for numbing pain because it tells me my limits. Such as if my ankle hurts to put weigtht on it, then dont cover the pain.. just dont put weight on it!

Just a different perspective on pain and Pain relief for people.

Unless its an ear infection or tooth ache, there are no limits to be breached with those buggers. Just hand me the doxylamine and back away slowly!

[Julie Doula]

Just hand me the doxylamine and back away slowly!

Love your username, Inertia. Sounds like an Asterix/Obelix name!