Well, I'll try to agree with both of you. I don't think that you should send your daughter to stay with someone she doesn't know, and I also don't think it's such a great idea to take her into the birthing room. If everything runs smoothly, she might not be too upset about it all, but there is still the chance that things could snag a little, and having a little one there would be an extra challenge. (if for example, you end up with a c/s.) Personally, even if things went wonderfully, I wouldn't have my little ones there with me. (I missed my DD right after delivering her sister, and we went to get her and took them all home together that same night, but I didn't miss her during labour!) Others have had their kids present at homebirths though, and loved it, so I guess to each their own.
I think you have plenty of time to get to know your neighbours well enough that your daughter will be comfortable there. You've got 20 some weeks yet, so hopefully you'll find someone close by that you and your daughter will get along with, until your mum or someone can come, and you'll have peace of mind come delivery time.