Traumatic 1st birth - preg again, trying to decide to have VB or c-section

[Mildez]

My first birth was long and horrendous. I started having regular painful contractions 4am 18th, by 3am 19th (24hrs later) went to hospital who said I was 3cm go home which I did, 7am 19th back to hospital 3cm go home. Back 2am (46hrs later) 20th was 7cm dilated finally enough to be allowed to stay. By 1030am was fully dialated (8hrs to go the last 3cm) and pushed for almost 3hrs ( I now work at that hospital and the policy is 1hr active pushing if no progress assessment by Obstetrician or if progress can push for 2hrs longest to have bub out) well I was never seen by a Dr and eventually I pushed her out after 2hrs 50mins she was direct OP (posterior) now I know not many 1st time mother push out an OP baby without some assistance. Well as soon as she was born the heamorraging started and I was in theatre for hrs whilst they try stop the bleeding. My second baby 6yrs later was 6hrs from the first pain to her birth. I lost the plot 10mins before she was born but that was it. Completely text book which I put it down to the fact that my body was a "trialed passage". Most woman who have difficult first births go on to have very "text book" births second time around as your body often labours and births easier (due to having done it before). I found the pain was not any less but could feel the progress and see the end which I couldn't with my first.
You need to decide what is best for you and see how accomodation the place you intent to birth is. Recently I assisted a lady to birth who had a bad first birth. She had an epidural inserted before her induction was commenced (due to her level of anxiety which was why she was induced at 39weeks) then a few hrs later she was ready to push and the dr actually got her to cough the baby out. She had one initial push and then coughed the rest of the baby out. It was completely amazing and completely pain free. Completely medicalized but she was very happy with her birth and was able to go home hrs later. I would talk to you Obstetrician about the likelyhood of another difficult birth. Was it for a reason like bad position of the baby, large baby, took too long etc and is that likely to happen again! GL your after a healthy mum and bub at the end of it doesn't matter which way they come.

[Trillian]

Normally I would say go for the VB and spend the time between now and then working through your feelings from your first birth and doing some serious debriefing about it to get yourself in the right frame of mind so you can move forward and give birth with confidence this time round, but it's not always as simple as that. For some women they will only be 'healed' from a previous traumatic birth by having another vaginal birth and for others they need to have a c/s to be able to move on. Either way it comes down to giving birth on your own terms in a way that makes you feel empowered about the birth and if that happens to be a c/s then that's fine and if its another vb then thats fine too.

I have a dear friend who had to make the exact decision you are now and I will ask her if she wouldn't mind popping in and sharing her story with you.

[Mak]

Mum2 - sorry to hear you had such a bad experience.

I had a horrid first delivery also - in short I was induced and had severe hemorraging also. It took months for me to physically recover, bubs had a few issues and looking back I was quite tramatised by the whole experience.

I too considered a CS with DD2 - I was quite concerned how I would cope with an active 2yo and newborn as I thought my experience was the norm... This was further complicated by a diagnosis of Gestational Diabetes and lots of talk of BIG babies and induction.

I was lucky enough to have a fabulous midwife who really debriefed me on my last experience. She was so encouraging about the possibility of a good VB and assisted me in avoiding induction (commonly used with GD). I approached things quite differently and sought information about active birthing.

DD2 arrived after 4hours in labour - from first niggle to delivery and she was posterior also so took ~45mins pushing. It was an amazing experience and nothing like the first - I was up and about almost straight away. My family were shocked at how great I looked and felt (after seeing a vey sick girl last time). The hospital was prepared for haemorrage this time via injection - but I didn't need it.

Sorry for the long post but I just wanted to let you know that things can be different - also too arm yourself with the most info you can and be happy with your choice! You will know what is best for you - and that is the most important thing.

I also found an old thread here about pain in labour which gave me some interesting things to think about.

Hope you can enjoy the rest of your pg - take care.

[The[cookie]Doctor]

I noticed you said you were reading about traumatic CS experiences here on BB...
FWIW I would say 95% of those are emergency CS, not elective and planned deliveries.
If you are trying to make a decision between VB and elective CS those CS stories may not be the best for you to read (not that I am encouraging a CS, but if you want to make an informed decision other literature is necessary)...
I know of a couple of books, but I can't remember any of them right now.

[AnyDream]

Hi Mum2 - I'm the friend Trill was talking about.

I have a jam-packed day ahead of me but I will try to get on again tonight and post about my positive and empowered healing caesarean experience - I think you will find it is exactly what you need to hear at this time.

BBL

[BellyBelly]

I wouldn't be making a decision without birth trauma counselling so you can work through it and make a more settled decision - it's crazy trying to make a decision now with your mind all over the place and still dealing with the trauma. There are some wonderful birth trauma counsellors out there, will see if I can track down the name of the person in NSW I have heard of, might not be local but will see how I go for you!

[Ilithyia]

I wouldn't be making a decision without birth trauma counselling so you can work through it and make a more settled decision - it's crazy trying to make a decision now with your mind all over the place and still dealing with the trauma. There are some wonderful birth trauma counsellors out there, will see if I can track down the name of the person in NSW I have heard of, might not be local but will see how I go for you!

:yeahthat: too!

[Papillon]

It is a scary thought having a VB after a traumatic birth.... I know first hand!

My DD's active labour was over 2 day's - I was in pre-labour which is just as painful and exhausting, for 1.5 week's before the active labour started. So by the time i got to pushing i was beyond exhausted. The active labour started on the Monday night, didnt start pushing until Tuesday night 8pmish and she finally came out 3 hour's later. I was one push away from "going up stair's" So much happened within her birth, i nearly died twice, she nearly died once, they thought they had torn the soft skin covering her brain at one point, ahhhh i could go on. It was that bad, by the time she was born there was over 13 people in the room, couple of DR's, midwives, complete NICU team with all the machine to work on her and bring her back to life or whatever the machines do....

I was in severe shock after her birth for a good hour or two. So for me, because of how traumatic the birth was, when i fell pregnant with DS, i was exceptionally scared and was seriously considering my ability to successfully birth him naturally. However, i did not have another option, my dr's didnt offer me to have a CS.

BUT, with being pro-active, identifying where we could maybe improve, different techniques etc his birth was just amazing. It was so beautiful, it wasn't quick but it wasn't long either like DD's, but i remember it just being so beautiful....

DS and i together did a fantastic job and i am actually looking forward to my next birth. (if and when i get to that is)

Actually i was so proud of myself, DF and our DS... the three of us did so well on our own, all we had in the room was 1 midwife and another midwife would check in and out to just support the midwife with us! Totally contrasting to DD's which was like giving birth at flinder's st station lol

So, i think what you need to work out is, what do you want?? and if you would like to have a VB, then go for it. Just plan, and prepare and ensure the best you can......



hope this has helped somehow...

ETA: i just read there is such a thing as traumatic birth counseling?! wow, i never knew. If you feel that would help i would do that too.... i just read book's, researched and asked a lot of question's. I also talked with DS all the time in the last 4 months of pregnancy, explaining to him what we need to do, how i would like it to go etc etc and i dunno if i am crazy but i think that made a huge difference. I guess maybe he knew what was expected, i had a bit more knowledge and together we executed the birth beautifully!!!!!

[Ilithyia]

Hi there!

I aggree with what Trillian has said.

Aim for a VB and if towards the end of the prenancy you are still feeling nervous, go with what your heart is telling you to do.

Have you debriefed from your first birth?

I thinking debriefing from any birth is important whether it was traumatic or not or if you are the birthing woman, midwife or doula. A traumatic birth can leave so much stigma.

I would highly reccommend a Doula aswell. Doula's can help you work through any trauma from previous births. She can also help you prepare a calm, safe environment for you to birth into.

Have you considered a homebirth? With a lot of women the trauma from birth is associated to the hospital. Giving birth in the safety of your home is a powerful experience. It may be the healing that you need.

Also, go and visit the girls in the traumatic birth forums. Its great to have a rally of support from women who have been through the same thing as you.

I wish you all the best and really hope you find the love and support you deserve.

You have made the first step, reaching out for help. It can only get easier from here on!

Good luck!
xxoo