I wouldn't be making a decision without birth trauma counselling so you can work through it and make a more settled decision - it's crazy trying to make a decision now with your mind all over the place and still dealing with the trauma. There are some wonderful birth trauma counsellors out there, will see if I can track down the name of the person in NSW I have heard of, might not be local but will see how I go for you!
:yeahthat: too!