My experience with DS1's birth & post birth was decells, augmentation, threatened csect, DS1's heart actually stopping during pushing, then episiotomy and failed vacuum (and me birthing him myself while they were getting organised to reattach vacuum) with scarring issues that were not resolved until DS1 was 14mo (surgery to repair episiotomy site), supply issues until we stopped feeding at 8mo) and severe pnd.
This time around I had a waterbirth with no issues bar a small 2nd degree tear (1 stitch internal, 2 externally) at the edge of my scar and the only issues we've had bf are initial attachment & some mastitis.
I addressed my fear of tearing, intervention, pnd etc by researching the hell out of everything (and I mean everything) and doing hypnobirthing to try and let go of my fear of a repeat experience.