ok im back =)
i think the first step you have to do to get a better birth experience is what you already have done. ask and research!
arm yourself with as much information as possible. with bf, join aba and hook in with them. depending where you live they have groups which have information topics plus you meet other mums inyour area (which might help with pnd). plus there is a free 24/7 help line (which you dont have to be a member to use).
a doula is a great idea because they will have all these tips and tricks up their sleeve to help you and will be able to faciliitate and remind you when you are in labor and might not be able to express yourself as you want to. plus give you support and continuity. =)