Weighing up the pros and cons

[Debbie Lee]

I know I've still got oodles of time and I still have heaps of research to do but I had an off day today.
I just don't know how passionate I am about trying for a VBAC.
I was thinking today that if I find out I'm having a boy, I'd definitely have a caesar.... sounds silly, I know. However, my mother lost her only boy... so I think that's why I'm thinking such irrational thoughts. Then I feel guilty that I'm willing to risk a girl but not a boy.

Hmm... I really need to speak to someone about all of this, don't I?

[BellyBelly]

Deb, I can recommend someone fabulous to de-brief with but she's in Melbourne - if you'd like someone closer I can help you find someone, but there are people who do professional birth de-briefing... they don't take sides just help you unravel your feelings about birth and what you really want.

[Debbie Lee]

Thanks ladies.
I'll give the hospital a call after Christmas and see if the nurses there are a little more forthcoming with advice. I'll specifically ask for some kind of birth councellor.
If I get no joy, I might get you to help me out, Kel Thankyou!

[Debbie Lee]

I was just thinking of another issue.... my weight.
Unfortunately I stacked the weight on after having Gabby. I was big to begin with but I reckon I'm a good 10-15kgs heavier than when I first got preggo with Gab.
How do you reckon this will affect my chances of a natural/vaginal birth? I'm trying to not put on too much weight whilst pregnant. I put 10kgs on with Gabby. I'm not being silly about it... just trying to make healthier choices with food and trying to stay active (not difficult with a toddler).
Does weight play a major role on whether I'll be successful with a natural birth? Take into account that I'm well over 100kgs... I'm not talking just a little bit overweight here.

[{sarah}]

Deb in all the books of read they have never mentioned that weight is an issue, so maybe it's not??? I'm not 100% sure though.

[Trish]

I'm not really sure either Deb. But I do know that a c section for a bigger lady is a bigger op as there as more layers to go through (sorry, didn't know how else to say it)

So the way I see it, there is another pro VBAC thing

[Debbie Lee]

Trish - I think any surgery is a bigger risk to larger people for a multitude of reasons. I think the anaesthetic and drugs are dangerous? I know that's why a lot of plastic surgeons won't work on people until they've gotten down to a safe weight. Then of course there's all the extra layers... tis a fact so I'm not offended

Sarah - it's good that it's not mentioned in the books. What are the books you have again? I should go and get them now that the silly season is over.

I've got Kelly looking for doula's in my area (or that are willing to travel to Hammo). I figure if I'm gonna do this, it'll be good to have the extra support. Haven't spoken to Neil about it yet but he's a "steady as she goes" type bloke. Too much stuff at once and he tunes out! LOL I think he'll be open to it tho.
I've decided that I don't want Mum there this time. Not sure how she'll react. I'd rather her look after Gabby. I know Gabby will be ok with her if Neil and I are away from her for a number of hours. Hopefully she'll be gracious about it.

[Trish]

Cool Deb, of course I should have mentioned the other things too. Lol.

Good on you for looking into having a doula. Maybe tell Neil you feel you need the extra support without your mum being in there ?? Even if this isn't the case

[Debbie Lee]

I've just emailed Neil with a link to a site that briefly explains what a doula is and what they do (in nice, plain language.... man's language ). I'll see if I get a response today.
I reckon he'll be all for it then crack it about the cost. He's a bit of a tight-arse. Hmm... maybe I just won't tell him..... hehehe.

[Trish]

The cost was one of the things Mark whinged about with our HB. I just told him that women spend thousands on OB's who quite often don't turn up or just for the last 5 minutes. I got a whole lot of care for my $3000, plus after care too

[Debbie Lee]

Well... thankfully having a doula doesn't cost THAT much! LOL
You're right tho... people spend stacks in the private system so it's no different really.
I have to go to the hospital this week to get blood tests done so I might see if I can speak to someone about seeing a midwife to have a chat. With any luck they'll be open to it. I can find out how they feel about me having a doula. Being a country hospital they may not have a lot of that sort of thing happening? I really don't know.... I don't like to presume.
I'll also ask the midwives if they can recommend a Dr. at the clinic that's more pro-vbac. I'll be seeing my Dr. again a week after the bloods are taken but I doubt he'll want to discuss it further. He pretty much said I have to wait until 20 weeks (because a lot of women miscarry... blah, blah, blah... he likes bringing up the miscarriage thing). I've only seen him twice tho so I'll see how this third visit goes. I just can't wait another 10 weeks before discussing my options. I want to get my head around it iykwim? Waiting until half way through the pregnancy to even discuss things just seems silly!

[Trish]

Nice Dr, Deb. Sounds like he's a real positive man to be around.

Fingers crossed you can find a more supportive Dr.

[Debbie Lee]

Hahaha.... just got an email back from Neil:
"Up to you about the doula... so long as it's $150 and not $800". Told ya he'd be hung up on the money! Arrgh!

[{sarah}]

Just tell him you can take the money out of the baby bonus Deb

As for my books I have
* Thinking Woman's Guide to Better Birth
* Silent Knife
* New Active Birth

Had a drama getting VBAC Companion, but will get it eventually. Check out Amazon, do a search for cesarean (yep I know wrong spelling LOL) or VBAC and they have heaps of different ones.

[Debbie Lee]

Thanks mate. I know you listed them earlier (or somewhere else?) but I'm lazy! hehehe
I'll definitely grab them and have a good read.

I managed to convince Neil that the cost of a doula isn't all that bad. He seemed happy that it doesn't have to be paid in one lump sum (always helps) and I think he can see that it'd be an investment. Now he just wants me to make sure she's good looking! Arrgh!! hahaaha

[{sarah}]

LOL at good looking Deb! And no prob about the book list

[Trish]

LOL Deb, Typical male wanting a good looking one.

When it comes time for you to have your baby he'd better not be checking out your doula, I can imagine there would be more for him to look at

[Debbie Lee]

Hehehe Trish... I had a "hot doctor" deliver Gabby so Neil was checking her out while I had my guts open!! PMSL
Naah... he's not that bad really (making him sound like a sleaze).