Yes! Optimal should be the way to describe it. I also had no grand plans for birth. I just wanted to be left alone. Due to the synto though, I had the monitors etc and was stuck on the bed. And we all know constant monitoring means the constant presence of a stranger. The MW on duty. There were many obstacles thrown in my path from the onset of labour. I don't feel I failed, but I do know in a moment of weakness., I dropped my guard and succumbed to their 'timeline'. I do remember feeling disheartened being told I was 'only' 5-6cm dialated after 12 hours of vicious contractions.

I would have been ok with the c/s without all the complications which arose as a result of the surgery. I'm still paying for it now.

I think I'm getting lost in my ramblings. My point is, we should have our own standards. What's ideal for one woman might be my worst nightmare. I don't understand all the judgement and smugness I see in conversations about birth. (not here, just in general) Maybe because of my particular experience, I'm more sensitive to that kind of thing. I think the fact that none of what happened to me was neccesary really is my issue. Neither of us were in danger. Until they intervened. How ironic. Even if I end up with another C/S, I think I can make peace with that, as long as my emotional wellbeing is protected, and I'm spared the agony of being mistreated by those I'm supposed to trust.

Rambling again. I hope I'm making sense.