Kerry,

This is an all too common problem and I have seen it pop up very frequently on BellyBelly. My mum and I had an outright world war with my first born, I said no to mum being with me in labour and we didn't talk until long after the birth - even then things were very rough for many months. I can understand her feeling hurt and disappointed, but at a time when I really needed her and wanted her support in other ways, it was disappointing for me also.

However, it is extremely important that you make it clear to anyone that while you appreciate their offer for support, you have made your decision on who will be present and if you change your mind, you will let them know. End of story. Lucy is right in saying that is should be completely NON-negotiable!

Having people present while you are in labour who you do not want there or who make you feel uncomfortable can adversely effect the direction in which the labour takes - not only on a physical level but psychological one too. Your labour may slow or stall and we all know what that means - interventions to get it going again or to hurry it all up. This could mean pain relief you didn't intend on using, augmentation, forceps, vacuum or even a caeser. It's a fact that stress and tension can do this!

I would highly recommend that you stand your ground - remember what is important to you and important to your baby.