Wow Kerry what a lot of stress for you. These people sound very selfish and inconsiderate. Good on you for making you feelings known and not keeping them bottled up. Not that it seems to have done you any good so far.

I think it may be a good idea to not let them know you are going into hossie. Just have the baby then call them. I don't think it could make your relationship any worse as they already seem to devalue your wants and needs as it it.