Oh Hun, you are absolutely not whiny!!!! You have every right to feel disappointed when things turned out so differently from how you'd planned. I'm so sorry it was such a traumatic experience for you and I think your incredibly brave and strong for getting thru it. Don't feel like u have to be ok with it all anytime soon. It took me months to deal with thomas' birth and his wasn't even nearly as traumatic. In the meantime, go bury your head in that beautiful little boys neck and suck in all his newborn loveliness. Huge hugs xxx