thanks shannon, yeah it was a big shock to be feeling like that after the birth, all those feelings really scarred me, i didnt expect them at all. i had such a vivid idea of what i thought it was going to be like, and was nothing like that.

i am lucky i have such a supportive husband and family that have been there for me every step of the way and have helped me see that what i was feeling was completely normal and i am a fantastic mother.