On April 24, I started getting regular contractions. I have waited for them to get stronger and closer apart before deciding to leave for the hospital with DH. At around 1am on April 25 (my official due date), my contractions were 5 minutes apart. So here I go. I showed up at the caseroom with a smile warning the nurse who assessed me that I had a quick labor with my first. She took me in and examined my cervix. I was 5cm dilated and were having regular contractions. She then called my primary doctor in and had me go into the birthing room to prepare myself. At 3am, my doctor came in and assessed me. I was about 6-7cm dilated but my contractions weren't strong enough. So, we decided to go ahead and break my water and wait for the miracle to happen.
Well, it didn't take long for me to get the stronger contractions. At that point, I was ready to give up on my hopes for a natural birth. I was in so much pain that my blood pressure went up and I was nearly about to faint. Yet, I still decided to walk up and down the hallway hoping to speed things up. Then my contractions were much closer apart, they were maybe 2 minutes apart lasting 1 minute each time... I felt like I was in agony! I asked my nurse to get me prepare for an epidural... so my doctor reassessed me and I was in full blown labor!!! No time for an epidural... DH was by my side encouraging me to push and when I had so much back pain, my doctor gave me a back massage to ease the pain. 20 minutes later, my precious angel has presented herself to the world! I nearly forgot the pain I had and was in full blown joy! I have waited 40 weeks for this DAY! Thus, the birth of Megan... Born on April 25, 2009 at 5:31am. She weighted 8lbs7.9oz...
Pondering back my entire pregnancy, I have to admit that things weren't as easy going as compare to my first pregnancy. I experienced so much swelling, discomfort, and headaches... but it's all worthwhile because I am blessed by this bundle of joy!
To be honest, I am not so proud of myself afterall. Firstly, this pregnancy was rather difficult for me towards the end due to my swelling. I feel rather tired and have not really enjoyed the last stage. Then when I had planned for a natural birth, I can't believe I ended up asking for an epidural! I am so glad that they were not able to give it to me as I was already in full labor... but what happened to what I have planned? The same night when I went into the caseroom, I instructed my DH not to let me give in if I were to ask for an epidural. Well, he certainly did not say anything when I asked the doctor... I feel betrayed when I had spoken to him that I absolutely don't want it due to the effects it may occur.
I am extremely happy that Megan is a healthy newborn, but at the same time, I feel terrible because I am not a good mom to DD1. I think at this stage, she feels like I have neglected her in some ways. Though she is happy to our new addition, she realized that I am unable to give my whole self to her. I feel so awful these days because she completely turns into a whole other person. She has been screaming when we told her not to do certain things. She eats less. She is a lot crankier. What have I done? My parents are over to help out with DD1.... but of course, I have spent less time with her as Megan is born.
I feel like an incompetent mom... my failures are lying before me, and it seems hard to put my head up when I am faced with these challenges... SIGH
Oh Carmen , you are not an incompetent mother. It is soooo hard when bub #2 first arrives, it is very normal that you need to spend more time with the newborn. It is difficult for the older child to adjust to not being the centre of attention any more. My DS1 was exactly the same, his behaviour was terrible for a month or two when his little brother arrived. But he eventually calmed down and worked out that we still loved him just as much as before, but life had changed.
You are doing a great job, don't you forget that .
Wow born on her due date, congrats and welcome little megan.
I know how you feel about not being able to give enough time to DD1. Having that 2nd child takes a while to adapt to. Going from 2 to 3 is so much easier and after that it just doesn't matter lol. When Megan is sleeping (and your not napping) give DD1 some one on one time then. Read her some stories and try to get some books about babies and being a big sister. I know she is only 2 but they do still understand some of it. My DD2 is 2 and we talk to her about being a big girl helper. Take it day by day and try to relax about things (hard to do I know). Take care
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My precious Megan's arrival after 40 weeks!
, you are not an incompetent mother. It is soooo hard when bub #2 first arrives, it is very normal that you need to spend more time with the newborn. It is difficult for the older child to adjust to not being the centre of attention any more. My DS1 was exactly the same, his behaviour was terrible for a month or two when his little brother arrived. But he eventually calmed down and worked out that we still loved him just as much as before, but life had changed.
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