Hi, and thanks very much for your responses all.
Really appreciate what you said about your experience of trying not to push for so long hoobley, that was affirming to read to know i wasnt alone. i wish i had known that that could happen before labour started as it was very scary, confusing and extremely painful to have that need to push for so long before it was needed..if i had been prepared for it it would have helped, but all i knew about pushing was "dont do it unless you have to" which didnt adequately prepare me for the hours and hours of it.
best wishes all