my wonderful labour and then trauma after birth * Very Long!*

[Trillian]

I guess we don't talk about it for a few different reasons - thinking that those listening might not want to hear so much detail, or that they are still processing it themselves. I know some people IRL who are quite up for talking about all the 'gory' details and others who view birth simply as a process you go through to get a baby and would rather not go into details. Also too I think that some dismiss what happens to them because they think that it is part and parcel of giving birth so there is no point saying anything for fear of being seen as complaining kwim? Like the whole 'at least bubs is healthy' thing. And how many birth stories do you read on here that mention they poo'ed on the bed? I think I have only read one in all my years being on here. I know I didn't include it in mine because I didn't think it was necessary to add, even though I know I'm not the only woman who's done it LOL.

[dusty]

Trill I guess I'm one of these people that processes things by talking them through. Good point that not everyone would find this the way to deal with issues, something for me to be mindful of. Being a LTer I've had some guilty feelings that I shouldn't be talking about these things and be grateful for the end result but I figure even after my journey to get here, my experience is still one that was real and something I need to acknowledge and process.

Thanks for your perspective, and on the poo side I think I might of but no one told me LOL. Cause when I asked for the mirror at crowning my MW delayed by cleaning something up down there. I didn't think to ask but assumed at the time that's what it was. It didn't bother me one bit cause I'd kind of expected from talking with my doula and mum that it would happen. Hence the talking about it before prepared me for it at the time.

[Visitor7]

Dusty, thank you so much for sharing. You went through such a rollercoaster to conceive her, only to then get on another rollercoaster to bring her into this Earth. And you should be very proud of your achievements.
You are very right about people not telling the whole story. My sister said this recently when she had her DS. She asked me why I never told her exactly what birth and post birth is like. I told her that people don't want to hear the negatives. If they did, they'd probably be too scared to have kids lol.
Well done to you and your dh on bringing such a beautiful little girl into this world.

ETA:

how many birth stories do you read on here that mention they poo'ed on the bed? I think I have only read one in all my years being on here. I know I didn't include it in mine because I didn't think it was necessary to add, even though I know I'm not the only woman who's done it LOL.

You know, I have never even asked if I pooed in labour. It never even occured to me, lol.

[Trillian]

LOL Dusty, that may have been the time. It's a tricky one and I don't know what the solution is to addressing it so that those of us who want to talk are about to without worry of having someone think we're total loons for talking about it so much. I'm all for talking these things over because you just never know who might benefit from having the conversation with you kwim? But this reminds me of the episode of The Librarians when Christine is having her baby and she says to Francis "Why doesn't anyone tell you about this?" when she's mid contraction and Francis says "No one tells you anything Christine, that's why it keeps happening"