Finally finished work and winding down before I go to sleep!

My previous post said that I had my first reduction at 12. That was a typo, I was 17! I had a traditional anchor incision, my nipple and areola were completely removed and my areola was trimmed markedly. I had 1.3kg removed from one breast and 1.4kg from the other in the first surgery. The second surgery was a lesser reduction with scar revision. My first reduction was a botch job and my breasts were quite asymmetrical. The surgeon who performed the second reduction said that some of my ducts appeared to be intact, which gave me hope for BF in the future.

I had my first child when I was 26. My attitude was very much 'I'll give it a go and see what happens'. Once I had actually given birth, all those lovely hormones were telling me that I needed to BF my baby. I had a traumatic vaginal delivery; baby in distress, failed ventouse, extensive episiotomy and forceps delivery. My DD1 was full term but only 5lb 10oz with a poor appetite and weak sucking reflex. She was put to the breast in the delivery suite very soon after delivery, but I had a massive PPH and she was handed to my husband. I was unconscious for approximately an hour. I next attempted to BF her when I had been taken to my room, about 4 hours after delivery. I buzzed for a MW to assist me and she came in, took one look at my boobs and said 'oh, hold on, I'll be back'. She returned with a bottle of formula, handed it to me and said 'here, you'll need this'. When I told her I wanted to try to BF she told me there was no point, I wouldn't be able to feed after a reduction. Over the next few days, I received conflicting advice from the MW's; some said I should try to BF, other's told me not to bother as I wouldn't be successful. The few of times in hospital that I tried to attach DD (with the help of a supportive MW) it was very difficult. She was sleepy, jaundiced and not hungry. By the time I was discharged, DD was FF and I was confused. I knew I had some milk as my boobs were hard and sore and milk would dribble down my chest when I undressed for a shower, but I had been told that there was no point trying to BF DD. On and off for the next three weeks or so I tried to attach DD but not with much success. Quite frankly, I had no idea what I was doing! I do not come from a family of BF'ers, my sister FF and my mum did also. Being quite young, most of my friends didn't have kids yet so I didn't have a support base there either. Ultimately, DD was fully FF by the time she was 3 or 4 weeks old.

When I fell pg with DS, I was determined to try harder to establish BF. I educated myself by reading and researching, I now had many friends with children who had successfully BF. I surrounded myself with information and support. I bought the book I mentioned earlier and a SFS. I was determined! I had researched enough to know that I may not be able to exclusively BF, but I wanted to share that lovely relationship with my baby and give him whatever BM I could. We hit a snag when we were told at the 20 week US that DS only had a single kidney and that kidney looked non-functional. We were advised that this was a 'non-viable' pg and that we should consider termination. We never questioned that we wouldn't continue the pg, but you can imagine that it was a terribly stressful few months. I fully expected to give birth to a still baby, or to lose him shortly after delivery. The delivery itself was a very straightforward vaginal delivery. I was induced at 39w 6d as emotionally I couldn't continue any further. I had an epidural and a minor tear. DS surprised us all by coming out chubby and wailing! He was delivered onto my chest and checked by a paed, then put to the breast. He was much stronger than DD and much hungrier. I put DS to the breast at every opportunity. i don't think he was off the breast for the first four days! Several MW's offered me formula, a couple insisted that I needed it. I handed them my copy of BF after reduction and asked them to read it on their break. Most appreciated it and told me that they had learnt something for the book, a couple rolled their eyes at me. By day 5, DS had lost more than 10% of his birth weight. Given his renal problems, we simply couldn't afford to allow him to become dehydrated. His urologist, who knew and supported my desire to BF, told me it was time to comp feed with formula. I started offering formula after the breast. I continued to BF until DS was 12 weeks old, offering first the breast, then formula. At about 12 weeks, DS was ill with an infection and he was hospitalised. I still offered the breast, but he was listless and disinterested. I had to get fluids into him and the only way was with the bottle. That was the end of our BF, although he is now almost 7 and still loves to stick his hand down my top when he's tired!!

When I was pg with DD2, I was again determined to BF. More research, more reading... I knew that I had at least some ducts which were patent, but not enough supply to exclusively BF. The millions of herbs I had taken when BF DS had done nothing more than give me a belly ache! I decided that this time I would try Motilium to establish a supply. I convinced my OB to prescribe Motilium from the time of delivery. Usually, you first need to establish that you have an inadequate supply, but I argued that we had established this through my experience with DS. Again, I surrounded myself with supportive people, including a very good mate who is a MCHN, MW and LC (she also supported me through my experience with DS). DD2 was a straightforward vaginal delivery, a short labour like my other two. She was delivered onto my chest by the MW (so quick that the OB didn't make it!) who said that she literally came out sucking. She was put immediately to the breast where she attached immediately and suckled both sides for about an hour all up. I reminded my OB to prescribe the motilium whilst he was suturing my small tear! DD2 seemed to be made to BF - she knew what to do, attached easily and had a strong suck. Again, I had her on my breast at every opportunity. She lost right on 10% of her birth weight by discharge and we left the hospital exclusively BF. I truly thought that we were headed for a BF relationship without comp feeding, but I was aware that I needed to monitor her weight and her nappies. My girlfriend offered to weigh her at home for me every couple of days. DD continued to lose weight. I couldn't feed her any more. I wore her in a sling and had her on the breast, where she actively suckled, more often than she was off the breast! I was taking 80mg of Motilium per day, eating lactation cookies, drinking litres of water, expressing after every feed... By the time she was 12 days old, her nappies started to become dry and smelly. My GF weighed her that afternoon and she had again lost weight. My GF looked at me, I looked at her... and I cried my eyes out. Dh held me while I sobbed, until a had a big sniff and said 'ok, I know what this means'. I started comp feeding DD, offering formula after a full BF. I was pretty certain that this was headed in the same direction as my experience with DS - a couple of months of persistence perhaps, then we would be at the bottom of that FF slippery slope and BF would be out the window. But DD continued to prefer the breast. I offered her the formula and sometimes she would take a little, sometimes a lot... but other times, she refused the formula and was satisfied by a BF. The difference was that the BF she clearly enjoyed, whereas the bottle was purely business for her. We continued this way until I introduced solids at six months. She is a great eater and she would have a BF, eat some solids then refuse the formula but nuzzle into my chest for another BF. By the time she was about 7 months, I offered Miss P a bottle after the BF in the morning and one after the last BF of the day. Sometimes she would take it, other times she would refuse. She has never, not once, refused the breast. So, now she is 19 months old and we are still going strong. I still pretty much BF on demand, although I will distract her if it entirely inconvenient - something I would do by this age regardless of our feeding history. I would be satisfied if DD decided to wean now, but she is a boobie monster who loves to snuggle into mummy for a feed. We have always co-slept and overnight is Open Bar, I sleep with my top open and she helps herself. My mother encouraged me to wean when DD was 6 months (yep, right when we finally found our happy groove!) but I keep threatening to feed Miss P until she's 20!

So, what was different this time around?

I was educated, determined and not distracted by other concerns (such as DS's renal issues)

DD2 went straight to the breast after delivery. I had her on my breast at every single opportunity in those first few weeks to try to establish a supply. I also expressed after each feed, working on the supply=demand theory.

The Motilium made a huge difference to my supply. I weaned myself onto a lower dose at about 4 months and saw a huge drop in supply. I eventually stopped taking it altogether when DD was about 10 months old and eating a full and varied diet. I didn't see much drop in my supply at that time, I think because it had been established for so long.

I surrounded myself with supportive people. This included my DH. First time around, we were both new to this parenting business and had no idea what we were doing. Second time, we were stressed out of our minds with concern for DS's health. This time, I discussed at length with DH how important it was for me to give my all to BF and he offered his absolute support, both emotional and practical.

It has been shown that women who have had a reduction have greater success with each subsequent baby that they BF. This (according to my reading) is because the ducts recanalise with each BF experience. This was my third attempt.

DD was the perfect BF baby - she just knew what to do! She was strong, with a good sucking reflex. She loves to BF and has from the moment she was born. DD1 was small and had a poor suck reflex, DS was a bit lazy!

Oh, I tried the SFS with DS. It didn't work for us. It's very fiddly and quite difficult to get in the right position, then DS would spit the straw out as soon as I got him attached and the straw in his gob. I stuck with it for a few weeks... then I threw it out in frustration!

Long post, sorry! I hope my experience gives you some encouragement - you can BF after a reduction. And you can keep feeding until your baby is 20!