I have found since DD2 was born that elderly people seem to be much more accepting of breastfeeding than their younger generations. Has anyone else found this? I dont know if accepting is the right word but they are more comfortable talking about it for what ever reason?!
For instance, I was in the doctors waiting room today when this elderly lady decided to come talk to me which I thought was lovely, I love talking to people! I had DD2 in the carrier and DD1 sitting beside me. It didnt take long for the conversation to go to breastfeeding (it never usually does when someone sees a small bub). She asked if I was breastfeeding DD2. It went something like this -
Me - Yes, I am.
Lady - Thats great. It would be so easy to feed her in there (she was in the close baby carrier).
Me - Yeah it is but its easy anywhere. I feed her where ever she is hungry.
Lady - Yes you need to feed them when they are hungry, none of this 4 hours nonsense.
Lady - When my twins were born my boy used to drain me completley and leave none for his sister so back in the day I used to just skim the top off the cows milk and give her that and shes thrived on it.
Me - Oh, you have twins?
Lady - Yes, she was always the smaller one of the 2. I was 3 weeks overdue with them (how cool is that?!) and she was still only 5 pound. She had a tough little jaw too and it was so hard to get her to open her mouth wide enough for the breast. She was feeding every 30 minutes for a while there and the peadatriction thought I was nuts but I had to build her up somehow.
Lady - You are doing such a great job and she is beautiful.
Me - (on cloud 9, its always nice to hear!) Oh thankyou
So what do you think? Do you think the elderly are more so accepting of other breastfeeding mothers? Is it because life was so much more "natural" back then? I guess is depends on the person. Im only 23 but more than happy to talk about breastfeeding to anyone who will listen but you would be hard pressed to find any other 23 year olds that have kids, let alone comfortable talk about something so natural.
I think we are made these days to make it more of a private affair incase we offend someone?!
I have had good and bad reactions. My lovely Nana is so supportive, the other day she asked if I was still BF DD2 and when I said yes she was so happy for us.
When DD2 was a few days old I needed to go see my GP. I was sitting in the waiting room and DD2 needed to be feed. I was next due next to be seen, I told the receptionist that I needed to feed DD2 and they said they would bump me back to when I was ready. I sat back down, got myself ready, got out my cover thingy and started. An elderly lady sitting opposite gave me a filthy look, made a tut tut sound and walked away and sat else were. DH even said 'did you see that'. I just thought well to bad if she has a problem.
But generally I always get good comments.
I think that lady you met sounds like a real gem.
Oh and love your new avi too.
Last edited by Kazzo; October 21st, 2011 at 12:02 PM.
: extra stuff.
I have had mixed reactions too, generally speaking the older generation are supportive, however they (from my experience) prefer it if I breastfeed in a separate room, away from everyone else. I find men are more expecting of this than the women, but both dh's grandmothers ask that I go into another room when I was breastfeeding the girls.
I was sitting on a park bench in St Kilda feeding DS2 (about 16 months old). An elderly lady stopped to chat. She chatted for AGES! Turned out she was waiting for someone and they hadn't shown up. DS1 finished, mucked about, then went in for side 2. Then he finished that too. About 20 mins later she walked away, just as DH walked back with lunch. He was as surprised as i was that she never once mentioned the fact that I was breastfeeding while we were talking.
She didn't care. I thought that was the best way of showing it was normal. We didn't even need to discuss the obvious. Have child/will breastfeed.
I'm pleased she was nice to you MM. Probably still loves talking about her babies - even though they are all grown up now. That's what we will be like!
In my experience, I found the older generations to be a lot more accepting of breastfeeding - I guess because back in their day, formula-feeding was something for sick babies/mamas only and they may see the frequency of formula-fed bubs in today's society to be a matter of 'laziness'? I know my parents were only really supportive of me BFing DD2 because they knew it was important to me (the way they saw it, formula hadn't hurt DD1 any so what was the big deal?), but I know my nanna was impressed to see me 'still' boobing away at 6 months when we went to visit her. She talked openly about her own BFing experiences and didn't bat an eyelid when it was time to feed DD2, I found most older people I came across either remembered BFing, or remembered their wives/sisters etc BFing and it was not even something they bothered to comment on Young people, on the other hand... don't get me started
I think it's great that the lady was so keen to share her experiences with you and boost you up a little (whether she meant to or not) However we feed our bubs, we're all members of the same club and it's lovely to be able to bond with a stranger over that common ground!
Interesting theory. I needed to feed my DD while I was waiting at the dr's when she was only a few weeks old. My mum was with me. When I started feeding, she keep trying to cover me with DD's muslin wrap & suggesting I go somewhere more private because I might offend someone blah blah blah. I told her if any one was offended they could come & tell me & I'd tell them where to go! Funnily enough, it was very quiet at the dr's that day & we were sitting away from the main waiting area anyway. There was only one person who would of seen me (an elderly man) & he was reading a mag & not paying me any attention whatsoever.
My Grandma (age 87) lives with my parents & every time she sees me feeding DD, she tells me how she fed all 9 of her kids until they were 2 & none of them ever had a bottle. I'm impressed! DH's grandfather has seen me feed her too, & he's full of positive stories as well.
Yes and no. My father is in his 70's now and he assumes that all babies are breastfed until they start baby led solids because that is his experience of babies but he's not really happy when someone whips a boob out in front of him. He's far too polite to complain but I know he prefers not seeing nipple lol.
i have to agree, cant think of an instance but know i have been surprised that they seem very accepting. also they will say the BREASTfeeding, rather than ask ''are you feeding her''?
/myGrandma was a midwife back in the day and she loves that i bf for so long....the way it shoul be, she says.
we have a group of young friends, no kids, always out drinking etc, they are lovely, when we are round there, normally at a bbq with 20 people or something, i sort of announce (only to the people around me) ''Its boob out time, anyone got a problem with that'' our closest friends dont blink, but sometimes there are others there who laugh nervously and then 'have to go and get a drink'. they are all about 20 something, and i guess dont get to see that sort of thing too much.
I was at a Church event (a relative is a priest and it was a celebration for him) and people were mainly having afternoon tea towards the back of the church but were also spread throughout the church. My DD wanted a feed and so i went up to one of the pews close to the front of the church where it was quieter and was breastfeeding. Rarely do you get to see breast when i feed, but i was even more conscious of making sure i was covered. I saw an older woman (in her 70s at least) walking towards me at the front, and i was starting to stress thinking i was going to be told that i was doing something inappropriate or directed elsewhere. I remember my heart starting to beat faster. When she reached us, she said "too right, everybody else is eating, babies need to eat too. oh, she is beautiful". I got such a glow from this comment, it was lovely.
At my grandparents house, i take my DD to another room to feed (comfier anyway), but usually find that they will follow us in and start to chat whilst i feed.
I'm a younger Mum too and all for breastfeeding (gosh where are you we should so catch up LOL). I have never been fully comfortable breastfeeding wherever whenever (ie cafe full of people) and will generally try to choose the quietest place available (ie parents room, car etc) as I worry about men perving as I have issues with that in general let alone with a boob out lol and also cos bub was always a messy feeder (used to come on and off a lot etc) so I don't really have much to say about strangers and BFing but I have actually found some of the older generation quite the opposite about breastfeeding (but not quite grandparent generational) as I think back in the 70s or whenever it was there were massive campaigns when formula went through a craze about how it was better than breastmilk etc etc (which I am so glad the info is starting to light about how PERFECT and incomparable breastfeeding is) so I think that has a bearing too from what I have heard from some from that era. Also my mother and grandmother didn't really breastfeed as they were told they didnt have enough milk and said that back in their day they reckon it wasn't common to go past a couple of months (my grandmother used to wonder why a baby would need breast milk once they eat food. Oh dear). So I guess it really depends on the individuals situation. I hope with institutions like the ABA that breastfeeding becomes more norm and not formula because it is more convenient these days.
Sent from my iPhone more than likely while I should be doing something else!
My grandma was awesome, always encouraged me to keep going as long as I could. My other grandparents were worried when I battled through supply issues and often said I 'could' give up if I felt the need but they were always encouraging.
My stupid mil on the other hand, always pushed me to give up etc.
I must admit I was surprised at the attitude of the elderly people in my life, pleasantly of course!
My grandpa is almost 80 and has never said anything about it before, but since DD was born he's been telling me about how when he sees women out in public breastfeeding it's great that they feel comfortable doing so, and how he used to love watching my grandma breastfeeding my dad & his brothers, that it was such a natural and wonderful bonding process.
Love my grandpa, he's a great great man, but never expected to hear those words come out of his mouth! Bless him!!!
I get mixed reactions in public. But my pop thinks it is great. He always comments on how great DD looks and says she's not fat like those other babies you see and he goes I reckon it's cos how you feed her. Bless him. He told me how Nan (now passed) fed her boys for quite awhile and how she had a lot of milk so fed other babies. Was really good hearing Pop talks out that kind of stuff.
First bfing comment I ever got from someone about bfing was being asked by an older lady if I was bfing her at Medicare when DD was three weeks old. When I said yes, the lady said good on you. TBH I really only ever got positive comments from everyone, but I always remembered that first one. Now, if I see a Mum bfing in public I tell her what a good job she's doing. We don't have to wait until our babies are grown up to spread the love.
Ive always gotten nothing for support from elderly people, especially women. I think they often border on the unintentionally offensive when it comes to being so pro-breastfeeding lol Ive had a few comment about how nice it was to see a young girl (I was 21 with my first) trying to breastfeed and Ive had a few comment on me breastfeeding my Ds3 when he was 12mths old, generally along the lines of feeding an older baby and so nice to see it amongst the young mums. I dont consider myself ridiculously young but hey, I always thanked them. It made me think about how the general public might see formula feeding as a 'young mums' thing and breastfeeding as an 'older mums' thing. In my circle most of my friends of similar age have breastfed.
I think its because back then you just gave birth and breastfed. Simple. There were no other options unless there was a really important health reason for csection or alternate feeding.
My grandparents are all super supportive, although my fathers parents think 8-9 months is long enough. I will be seeing them again on the 3rd of next month, DS will almost be 9 months so will be interesting to see if they say anything lol. But so far everytime I see either grandparents they always ask if I am still feeding him, then rave about how great it is when I tell them yes. My dad & FIL are uncomfortable when I feed DS though so always leave the room. No way am I leaving it, especially at my own house.
I havent had any other any other person say anything to me, but thats because DS wont feed in public often as he just wont stay still long enough too. Worries he will miss out on something important lol. Its a little disappointing, as I LOVE feeding in anywhere & everywhere, I whip that boob out where ever! hahaha.
I'm 24, and find its less accepting with people my own age. Women around my age without kids have some sexualised comment to make or call it something absurd (eg: "I am NOT doing nipple to mouth!!!). But they havent said anything to me, they'd have their head bitten off if they did lol. I have one friend though who is an amazing support. She has no kids, but she is always asking questions about bf-ing, is not uncomfortable for me to just whip the boob out and often let it hang out (at home lol) when DS wants to pull back to laugh at her lol. She has no problem when we are out for lunch/dinner & DS will actually feed, we sit there joking about comebacks I can make to people if they were to say something rude haha.
My experience has been a bit different. My grandparents have all passed away, but DH has a grandfather and step- grandmother and grandfather. To be honest, I think the men are a bit uncomfortable when I breastfeed in front of them, but I don't really give them an option - I feed when and where I need to. I don't believe that my baby and I should be banished to another room while feeding, and the only time I will do it is if things are too noisy or bubs won't concentrate on feeding with other people around (I don't show a lot of boob, but if she's pulling off a lot I will move). We go to DH's parents' house for dinner each week, and I often feed atthe dinner table if DD is really grumpy.
Then there's the step-grandmother, who often tells me how she didn't breastfeed her kids because her husband had brothers and she was too embarrased to feed in front of them. Perhaps she's a little jealous now that she didn't do that...
Elderly peoples reaction to breastfeeding..
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