The generation thing is an interesting one as I really think the pendulum keeps swinging where for some generations bf is completely acceptable/expected and for others it is the opposite.

My DH's Nana is delighted to see me breastfeeding, thinks it is the most beautiful thing (93 years old) and I think this is certainly a product of her time where breast feeding rates were pretty high. DH's mother on the other hand almost grimaces when I feed and is visably saddened as she talks about how she couldn't feed and used bottles from 2 months. The interesting thing though is that I have seen DH's MCH booklet and the advice given to MIL at the 3 month mark was to start feeding farax and carnation milk etc. (maybe it was even condensed milk, can't remember now) I can't help thinking that if the advice in the 70's was to get babies on solids and bottles earlier and that took away support networks for mothers in those days and led to a decrease in breast feeding rates that we are still trying to address today?? So maybe this is why so many of our mothers in the previous generation struggled with breastfeeding??

On the other hand, in my family, my mother was a huge breast feeding advocate and a member of the 'Nursing Mother's Association' (which I believe was a precurser to the ABA??) Mum was insistent that I join 'Nursing Mothers' when I was pregnant as I think they were a huge support for her and instrumental in her successfully breastfeeding 4 babies. I think that between my mother and MIL it is telling what a difference support can make.

This is all anecdotal from my close community of course... and is slightly off topic, sorry!

When it comes to "if I can" I think that you are quite right Miss E and quite possibly there is a bit of
It's like society sets us up to fail in some ways
When I fell pregnant I used the 'if I can' when I talked about breastfeeding, I was more than keen to bf but I was aware that some people find it difficult/impossible. I guess I was hoping I would be one of the lucky ones. My thoughts were challenged though by a friend who is a midwife and is an old 'Nursing mothers' member who pulled me up and said, "Not if you can but when you do"! It made me think twice and got me researching about breast feeding.

I ended up with a number of challenges when it came to establishing breast feeding - mostly due to my c/section and a lethargic baby who missed her vital window for attachment. I struggled for 10 weeks to get to pain free breast feeding but I kept the thought of "I will do this" rather than "if I do" and I think it was a really positive help to me. I guess my mother's experience that I learnt from, support in my circle, research before birth and my mantra was what helped. I am not sure I would have made it otherwise.

Still, I completely understand that some people feel that using the "if I can" is helpful for them as they feel they are open to any eventuality. I guess we all approach and respond to challenges in different ways. At the end of the day I think there is a need to change societies attitudes more than anything