If you had no breastmilk, would you use a breastmilk bank?

[Liz]

I'd just like to say in FJ's defense.. a lot of her posts ARE constructive, as she is educated on the benefits of breastfeeding etc, and I understand that she feels compelled to respond when comments are made that appear to lessen the importance of breastmilk.

I think the breastmilk vs formula question is actually quite relevant in this particular topic, because it's especially talking about the care of premature babies, and what is best for them. And it's interesting to read peoples responses to what feeding method they would use in that situation.

Let them have an opinion, and LEAVE IT AT THAT.

Same goes for FJ's opinions too

[*Efjay*]

Thanks!

I was thinking on the way hom ein the car just now. Its not that I can't accept that people disagree with me. Its not like the debate is over "ford" or "Holden", Its Nature/normal verses artificial. So Its the fact so many not only disagree with me, but Nature that I can't understand/accept.

I may be totally off the mark, but I also think that my posts are mostly constructive & well informed. Thats why I post, I post correct information. Other wise I wouldn't comment. I can see how some may take my posts as an attack, but its not my intention.

For example,

On another side note about father/baby bonding. Feeding doesn't have to be the only way a father can bond with his child. If it was so important that this be the way a parent bonds with their child, Men would have developed the abilty to lactate. Parenting is a HUGE role & feeding is just a tiny part of it.
LOVE is the major role.

Then this is a reply I get

It is pretty obvious that parenting is not just about feeding

What did you think that was an attack too? It wasn't i was simply pointing out that feeding is not the most important role in bonding.

[EllyBoo72]

FJ I believe it is called snide remarks, something that you learn to grow out of when YOU GROW UP. Obviously you havent exp this yet.

IVANA I havent seen any CONSTRUCTIVE advice about FF YET.

[*Efjay*]

FJ I believe it is called snide remarks, something that you learn to grow out of when YOU GROW UP. Obviously you havent exp this yet.

What exactly was snide about it? I was simply offering information on the topic. Many people don't realise that feeding isn't as important in bonding as they think. I see it all the time. Questions on how much to express so DH can feed baby, so he can bond. I see it on here & IRL. So it is something that isn't as obvious as you think.

IVANA I havent seen any CONSTRUCTIVE advice about FF YET.

Why would I offer constructive advice on FFing? I BF. I wouldn't have a clue how to FF! I only know the reason why BFing is so important & why FFing does not compare to these benifits.

[Lea13]

FJ you made this comment:

But I get the feeling that if the majority disagree with ones opinion then they are not allowed to express it.

I'm not really sure how this relates to you as in this thread the majority of people are speaking in support of the BF Bank. And as an interesting point I see the poll currently sits with "No I would opt for formla" 3 points ahead of Yes. I find it interesting that only a few have nominated to post along with their 'No' vote.

I agree with both and you Invana - yours posts can be contructive and informative and are interesting to read. Its comments like this:

Its the fact so many not only disagree with me, but Nature that I can't understand/accept.

that distort your posts. You are well educated and informed when it comes to BM & BF and anyone can see that it is your passion but that underlying unacceptance of people disagreeing with you albeit nature also shines through with your posts. You make it hard to agree to disagree IYKWIM.

Ivana ~ The BM vs FF is relevant to the topic at hand but FJ's post was not in regards to the actual question. It was not the subject but the context I was questioning.

I did not mean to start a war here LOL. I have enjoyed reading this thread as it has certainly opened my eyes up and educated me. Maybe I should have contacted FJ offline rather then posting but what is done is done now. My intent was never to offend anyone or shut down any ones right of speech but rather to point out something I felt was inappropriate.

FJ ~ I sincerely hoped I haven't offended you in anyway.

Perhaps now we can move back to the subject at hand.

[EllyBoo72]

Most of your snide remarks Fiona have been Edited or Removed.

At the end of the day, we can have a little giggle about our differences...after all as they say, no one is ever really right or wrong.

I am moving on now...

[Fire Fly]

Mick, i retract my comment. I have been reading the posts and didnt pay attention to the poll. I didnt notice the formula part. My apologies.

I have to say in Fiona's defence as well that all her comments are not just something that pops off the top of her head. They are fully researched comments and she is only trying educate those who dont know. I dont find what she says as offensive at all and thats not just because i B/F, its because i value her advice on things. Isnt that what we are all in here for, to get opinions and ideas as to what other mums do so we can learn and get a bit of help from each other.
We are ALL grown people and she act that way. Passing snide remarks is not very mature and doesnt help this forum to have that sort of talk floating around.

Advise and opinions are wonderful because you can take or leave them as you chose.

[Astrolady]

Girls please remember this is not a thread for a personal slanging match and I refer you to THIS POST

Love

[hannanat]

Kelly wrote

Yep I think the worst thing about it is thinking about the poor person who's job it is to collect it

Oh Kelly, that was laugh out loud funny!!!

[Keen]

(NB: This is going to take me AGES! Must make usre I get it right so as not to be misconstrued)

Do you know what ladies? I think its really really unfortunate. This whole discussion shoudl really be a simple; yes I would use it, no I wouldnt use it, or Im not sure it would depend on the circumstances.

Insetad as regualrly is the case it turns into a who is right and wrong and everyone having to validate their answers. You are all mums (or otherwise hoping to be - like me ). It shouldnt be matter of criticising decisions, none of you should feel guilt for the decisions you have made. We are not given rule books for this. We are given a brain in our head and tonnes and tonnes of conflicting 'research' and advice and from that we make our choices.

If you love your child, you do what you can to make them happy and keep yourself happy (an also very important fact that is often forgotten) and you do all you can to keep them safe and make decisions based on your own sifting through it all and you end up with a happy healthy baby - then WELL DONE! It would be lovely, so lovely, to see women banding together more and supporting each other as mothers, rather than being busy criticising, judging and questioning their parenting methods.

You are all such wonderful strong women with strong minds and big hearts and no doubt this comes across in your mothering as well. As for your babies just - Hug them, love them, appreciate them and care for them - as you all already do. And appreciate that its good that we dont all have the same opinions, that we do things differently - its what creates the wonderfully diverse world that we live in.

Damn... cant find that sopabox emoticon - clearly I need it... so getting off mine now.

ETA: This is not directed at any one person it is at us all (myslef included) we are all guilt of judging - it is what we do as a result that really matters.I'll be honest, its not easy always trying to keep the peace, I agree absolutely! There are many things that I would like to say in response to some of the posts here that I do feel are attacking and offensive, but I restrain because it is not my place to criticise. Lets ty and keep this the supportive, encouraging environment it was intended to be.

[MistyFying]

Nicely said, Keen.

[Colleen]

I said No. I dont feel any need to validate my decision, because its just that, my decision
(when you give reason, you get questioned, simpler to say no/yes.)

xoxo

Colleen

[Trish]

OK I said yes and I feel like giving a reason

As all of my family and close friends know I am very very pro breastfeeding. So much so that I can debate back and forth about the pro's and often get upset when I am asked for advise on bfing but then my answers are not listened too or followed, only to end up with someone who's milk has gone and can no longer feed. I have breastfed all of my childre, extended fed Noah and now Tehya. I like to think that I know what I am talking about when it comes to bfing. Experience counts for alot as for most things in life.

Anyway, back to the OP. Without a doubt I would both donate and recieve if I had a preterm baby and was unable to produce my own milk for bub. The colostrum and milk that follows in those first few weeks/ months is sooooo important to bub. I would also have no hesitation in putting a friends baby to my breast if she could not produce for her child or expressing for that baby.

My midwife who was also bfing her daughter watched Tehya for me for a little while one afternoon. She had fallen asleep when I was at her house and I had to go and get Noah. She told me instead of rushing back she would call me when Tehya woke so I could come back. When Tehya woke she was beside herself, my midwife called me and told me that she was awake and screaming, she seemed hungry. My reply was simple. Feed her then. She had no hesitation. Tehya on the other hand, did and knew that it wasn't her booby. I know that this lady is a healthy person, she doesn't drink, smoke, do drugs and probably has a healthier diet than me. Afterall if her milk was good enough for her daughter, it was good enough for mine.

Now, granted I was no there to watch my baby on another woman's breast, and I'm really not sure how I would've felt if I was. But, in saying that I have no doubt if I couldn't do it then I would be more than happy to have someone close to me do it.

As for being kept alive for my baby to get those first important feeds. For sure, hell keep me alive for a few months if you want. Maybe they'll find a cure for me while I'm waiting

FJ, thankyou for your always imformative post's. I love reading the stuff you write about bfing. I know that it's hard to hold back when you are so passionate about something you so firmly believe in. But, then again, why should you have to hold your tongue (or fingers) for fear of retrobution.

[BellyBelly]

I dont want anyone to feel that they can't give a reason. I think we've been through all the previous posts and can now appreciate that we can understand that we'll all have differing opinions.

I chose yes, because IMO I believe there is less risk for a prem baby to have breastmilk, it is more readily digested and absorbed and contains white blood cells for protection against infection, a big problem for prem babies.

[Colleen]

I wasnt saying other ppl cant give reason, I meant in my case, it was easier for me to not give a reason.



xoxo

[Liz]

I said No. I dont feel any need to validate my decision, because its just that, my decision
(when you give reason, you get questioned, simpler to say no/yes.)

hehe.. too true! But it is nice to hear peoples reasons, coz often its things I haven't thought of myself

Like I said earlier.. I said undecided, but only because i DO have some hesitation. I'm a "most likely" with a bit more research and convincing!

[Visitor9]

I voted that I'm unsure more because the thought of the unknown to me (breast milk bank) although totally natural is daunting. There was many days I would sit attached to a electric pump in the SCN with my wee specimen sample container getting excited to hit half way watching women with envy empty there milk into freezer packs into the fridges or watching them express and empty it to be disposed cause they were too full
But then again if I had a family member or good friend that was happy out I'd jump at the stage after all we all want what is best for our children. My DD was formula fed and I live with no regrets!
Bec

[chelleg]

At the ABA conference I attended earlier this year there wasa guest speaker from the Hospital in Newcastle (I think) and he spoke about the important role of BM for premmie babies.

Do you remember who the speaker was FJ? I often feel alot of the NICU staff don't see breastmilk as 'important' but perhaps this is more the Nursing staff then the medical staff...

My two cents worth on this topic....

A few months ago i was chatting to one of the lactation consultants and she bought up the use of 'breastmilk banks', which were common in hospitals up until recent times (apparently!) I remember my first reaction was :eek: and i thought i would never ever let my baby have someone elses breastmilk. However when she (like others on here have) pointed out that i didn't even blink an eyelid at giving my baby another species breastmilk it shed a different light on my view. In saying that, i ticked undecided on the poll. I just don't know if i would. I don't have any rational thinking, but something about it just doesn't seem right - even though i know it's not wrong.... I'm sure that makes no sense what so ever LOL
I do understand the enormous benefits of breastmilk for babies, particularly for premature bubs, so for that reason i think it's a great idea.