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Thread: my BFing sister wants to be my egg donor - when can we expect her fertility 2 return?

  1. #1

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    Default my BFing sister wants to be my egg donor - when can we expect her fertility 2 return?

    my gorgeous younger sister and i would like some advice on getting back to full fertility once weaning your little one.

    my sister is a possible egg donor for my DH and i. she is super keen and it a fantastic donor option being my sister (sharing 98% DNA) having had 3 kidlets 2 boys and a girl, is 35 and doesn't want anymore children but desperately wants me to share the joy she has had.

    her munchkin is almost 12 months and she is having comfort feeds 1-2 times per day. my sis says she is ready to and wants to wean her completely for her own reasons not to do with being a donor (i think this is the longest she has BF any of her 3). her AF hasn't returned yet, but for the last month she has felt like she was going to get AF. we wouldn't be looking to do donor/IVF for several more months and definitely not until she is ready (she would do it tomorrow though if she could and if i was ready - which i aren't having just done an IVF cycle and needing to recover!).

    she will see a FS in the next couple of months to run tests, get advice etc, but we were wondering if anyone has any ideas on when normal fertility returns. even though she has had 2 before she can't really remember what happened, and thinks it was different with each one.



    she would be undergoing a full IVF stim cycle but we expect that she would have to have a couple of normal AF cycles before they allow her to do it - this is just our guess.

    i love my sister very much and while i know she is so keen to help, i am concerned for her health and welfare more than my own and i don't want her to rush her body after being pg for 9 months and BFing for the last 12 months. in case anyone was concerned my sis, her DH, my DH and i have already and will be doing more professional counselling on this issue.

    ETA: mods if this isn't appropriate to post here pls move to where it would be.
    Last edited by dusty; November 28th, 2007 at 10:11 AM. Reason: ETA

  2. #2

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    Dusty no advice sweet just wanted to say how nice of your sister

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    Dusty - that is so great. I am so happy for you that you have a sissy like that. Mine would also do it in a heartbeat - but alas, she is older then me..
    Can't help you with the fertility thing...but am also thinking about Plan B...

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    If your sister wants to be your donor (what a great sister btw!) I would find out roughly when you would be able to cycle, given the delay associated with compulsory counselling and other tests, and I would say she'd likely have to wean a couple of months before her stim cycle. A stim cycle takes over her hormones artificially and makes her ovulate anyway so I don't think a history of regular cycles is necessary, but weaning a couple of months beforehand will give her hormones a chance to level out. As far as I am aware, it is not advisable to BF while on FSH, but maybe this is another thing to discuss with your FS.

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    Hey dusty- wow how nice of your sis!!! When i first read that you needed to her to be wiened i was going to say- hold on you might not need to wait- my sis fell preg while b/f - she only got AF once and then fell right away-(bubs will be about a year and 1 month apart!! i think its a little odd that your sis hasnt got her AF the whole year- but i dont really know how that al works-

    But i guess your biggest worry is her being on the medication and b/f at the same time too- again no real help to you there- i guess maybe like someone suggested- start doing all the other stuff first like evaluations and counciling etc while she is weaning and then once she has weaned- it may still take her a few months to get AF going etc and then she will be able to be assesed on when she ovulates etc.

    What a marvelous thing she is doing for you!!! You are lucky to have such a nice sis.

    Good luck with it all- i will be interested in hearing how things go!!

    Kat xox

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    Shan, my understanding is that there are no studies to prove that it doesn't cross into BM, so as a precaution, you're asked to wean. As far as the effectiveness of the cycle goes though, it's hard to say unless you can compare with cycles where you're not BFing, but again no large scale studies done in that area that I know of, and with the majority of women asked to wean before IVF, I bet there's very little anecdotal evidence as well.

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    thanks everyone, yes my sis is a darling woman. she says she is actually ready to finish BFing which i thought she would be sad about but my sister is ever practical and moving on to the next thing for her.
    sush, thanks hun, i think you are right and we need to get things happening on the practical front long before we actually get down to it. apparently it isn't too difficult for her (that is the important aspect to having a donor - they should be the one least inconvenienced) it will all take place up in mackay Qld near where they live, if that is what she wants to do.

    starbright, i dont know much about getting AF while BFing. she says she keeps expecting to get it with all the PMS symptoms as well but nothing happens. a friend of mine fell pg with twins while BFing and didn't even know she was preg as she never had an AF. i guess i just dont know what happens with AF when you are BFing or stopping BFing.

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    normally for me anyway my AF will come back about a mth or two after I have stopped BF if thats any help good luck hope it all works out for you. So when she is ready to stop she should to start to ov but I think it can take up to 6mths to come back but that is rare ( I think )

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    dusty, she doesn't have to get AF to do an egg collection, as many anovulatory women in the AC forums will attest to. Weaning is more for her baby's sake.

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    thanks sush and tali, i think i get it now. i suppose i am just worried for her health and happiness. the fact that she is prepared to put herself through this for me is overwhelming although i know why she wants to. her FS will run her through all the medical stuff. i should let her know though that if she doesn't want to stop BFing (she says she does) that she doesn't necessarily have to. apparently because she has been pg 3 times and BF 3 children it is actually like she has switched off her biological clock for all that time and her eggs will probably be younger in a sense than her age. i find it all fascinating.

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