i found it easier to not argue with anyone and just let the results speak for themselves. my DD is a star with her hand and utensil skills, and i attribute this to BLS and letting her eat at her pace.
my LO liked to copy people coughing, and so we started saying 'cough' when ever she did this. if she got food stuck, we would say 'cough' and she would bring it the front and spit it up.


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I did explain that the best thing for speech & jaw development was breast feeding!
Oh, and just FYI, they're less likely to choke if they feed themselves.
You're doing a great job!

sounds like you are doing a fab job of following your LO's cues as to what works for DD
for ya. Unsupportive family sucks.
Smile, grit your teeth and keep doing exactly what you're doing. An "oh, you think so" is more than enough. You'll be listening to plenty of complaints soon enough about fussy eaters to get plenty of proud Mummy moments in around your DD's eating! You just have to be patient. 
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