There's no rule to say a mother must enjoy breastfeeding. I know a lot of women who never enjoyed it, but did it anyway because they knew it was the best thing for their baby.
I guess it comes down to the fact of whether you feel you are able to continue and how much it will affect you mentally / emotionally if you do. I would definitely encourage you to continue, however your mental health is just as important
Hun, If you want to pm me for a chat do, because I know exactly how you feel. I despise breastfeeding. Absolutely every second the baby is attached to me is agonising for me. I have 2 boys who were formula fed early on and are happy healthy boys. My first daughter I breastfed for 14 months and it nearly destroyed me. I was in an incredibly bad place by the time she weaned and I never actually realised how much I resented her until she did wean when suddenly this weight lifted off me. I told myself I would never put myself through that as I didn't see how it was worth it as my daughter ended up being my only child with allergies, intolerances and digestive issues... go figure. But DD2 is now 3.5 months old and once again I find myself in an impossible situation. I can't stand breastfeeding her once again... we also have pain with her though too as she has palate issues but that's not our biggest problem. Its how much I dislike it. I obsess about weaning her, dream about it. But I feel like I can't stop because then I would suddenly be no good as a mum. I have such deep dread about each feed but I can't stop and that's partly to do with the bullies who make me feel bad each time the thought of weaning enters my head but it also has a lot to do with the fact that my ideal doesn't match my reality and that's heartbreaking for me. I would love to be one of those mothers who lovingly feeds her baby at the breast for two years but that's just not my reality... my reality is I'd rather claw out my eyeballs than attach the baby again. That is how hard it is for me. At the end you need to decide what you can live with though... I breastfed my daughter, it can be done, no matter how much you hate it but it came as a cost. I wished away her entire first year and I'll never get that back. And I find myself doing the same with my current little dd2. So yes I understand the feeling yuk bit... for me its like what fingers down a blackboard does... thats how it makes me feel.
I usually have nausea pretty bad each feed for the first few weeks, along with pain as well, so I'm not a fan.
However, the nausea finally subsided after a few months so I was able to continue until she weaned at 23 months.
But she was the only one out of the 4 that I did breastfeed - I fed DS for 2.5 days, then formula fed, DD1 was formula fed from birth, DD2 was mixed fed for the first month and then fully formula fed. I say as long as you are happy it doesn't really matter how the baby is being fed.
If it doesn't work this time, I'm not going to stress out about it, nor am I going to let anyone make me feel guilty about whatever choice I have to make.
Nothing wrong with you at all. I felt exactly the same way with DD1. I honestly felt like it was hard work and I hated the responsibility of being the only one who could feed her. I don't feel like it this time with DD2. I think it's because I have around 10l of EBM in the freezer so I don't feel as tied to her, I can easily have a break if I want to.
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