It's like you are describing me! I don't enjoy breastfeeding and in the early days I always looked for reasons to stop. With ds1 I only fed him a few days for many reasons and the guilt never left me so with ds2 I was pretty adamant I would do it. I found I had to give myself little goals, 3 weeks, 6 weeks etc etc. I really disliked it but pushed through and by 3 months I actually started to enjoy it albeit just slightly!! I fed him for 8 months. I found the same feelings this time with dd but knowing that it passes did make it easier and we are now at 13 weeks and the journey has been easier. It's such a personal decision and however long you decide to feed for, know that you have given your precious babe the best start!