Does anyone here not enjoy breastfeeding or is there something wrong with me?
I fed ds EBM for the first 4 days and then completely formula fed for reasons put of my control but still felt guilty for over a year about it so was keen to feed dd when I found out I was pg with her now she is here I'm not enjoying it and makes me feel blah I don't have any issues with breastfeeding or think its icky or anything , things touching my nipples have always made me feel yuk emotionally and physically and it feels the same when I bf I don't mind it but I do find I feel a bit oh no not again sort of thing BUT in saying all this I don't seem to be able to stop bf because I just can't let go and don't want to feel guilty again even though my ds is completely happy healthy little boy , do you think it's because we're always told breast is best (and I'm not wanting any arguments) and we feel that anything else makes us bad parents? Since ff ds I don't care which way a person feeds their child and dont completely agree woth that statement as long as there cared for and looked after and loved but maybe I still hang onto that
Also I have no other feeding issues I have good supply and no pain or anything which also kinda makes me feel bad cause I wish I could give it to someone else who is working so hard to bf through issues and here I am not liking it and its cone so easy to me
Edit: Dd is 7 weeks
Last edited by jellybean88; June 18th, 2013 at 03:39 PM.
There's no rule to say a mother must enjoy breastfeeding. I know a lot of women who never enjoyed it, but did it anyway because they knew it was the best thing for their baby.
I guess it comes down to the fact of whether you feel you are able to continue and how much it will affect you mentally / emotionally if you do. I would definitely encourage you to continue, however your mental health is just as important
Hun, If you want to pm me for a chat do, because I know exactly how you feel. I despise breastfeeding. Absolutely every second the baby is attached to me is agonising for me. I have 2 boys who were formula fed early on and are happy healthy boys. My first daughter I breastfed for 14 months and it nearly destroyed me. I was in an incredibly bad place by the time she weaned and I never actually realised how much I resented her until she did wean when suddenly this weight lifted off me. I told myself I would never put myself through that as I didn't see how it was worth it as my daughter ended up being my only child with allergies, intolerances and digestive issues... go figure. But DD2 is now 3.5 months old and once again I find myself in an impossible situation. I can't stand breastfeeding her once again... we also have pain with her though too as she has palate issues but that's not our biggest problem. Its how much I dislike it. I obsess about weaning her, dream about it. But I feel like I can't stop because then I would suddenly be no good as a mum. I have such deep dread about each feed but I can't stop and that's partly to do with the bullies who make me feel bad each time the thought of weaning enters my head but it also has a lot to do with the fact that my ideal doesn't match my reality and that's heartbreaking for me. I would love to be one of those mothers who lovingly feeds her baby at the breast for two years but that's just not my reality... my reality is I'd rather claw out my eyeballs than attach the baby again. That is how hard it is for me. At the end you need to decide what you can live with though... I breastfed my daughter, it can be done, no matter how much you hate it but it came as a cost. I wished away her entire first year and I'll never get that back. And I find myself doing the same with my current little dd2. So yes I understand the feeling yuk bit... for me its like what fingers down a blackboard does... thats how it makes me feel.
Nothing wrong with you at all. I felt exactly the same way with DD1. I honestly felt like it was hard work and I hated the responsibility of being the only one who could feed her. I don't feel like it this time with DD2. I think it's because I have around 10l of EBM in the freezer so I don't feel as tied to her, I can easily have a break if I want to.
I usually have nausea pretty bad each feed for the first few weeks, along with pain as well, so I'm not a fan.
However, the nausea finally subsided after a few months so I was able to continue until she weaned at 23 months.
But she was the only one out of the 4 that I did breastfeed - I fed DS for 2.5 days, then formula fed, DD1 was formula fed from birth, DD2 was mixed fed for the first month and then fully formula fed. I say as long as you are happy it doesn't really matter how the baby is being fed.
If it doesn't work this time, I'm not going to stress out about it, nor am I going to let anyone make me feel guilty about whatever choice I have to make.
It's like you are describing me! I don't enjoy breastfeeding and in the early days I always looked for reasons to stop. With ds1 I only fed him a few days for many reasons and the guilt never left me so with ds2 I was pretty adamant I would do it. I found I had to give myself little goals, 3 weeks, 6 weeks etc etc. I really disliked it but pushed through and by 3 months I actually started to enjoy it albeit just slightly!! I fed him for 8 months. I found the same feelings this time with dd but knowing that it passes did make it easier and we are now at 13 weeks and the journey has been easier. It's such a personal decision and however long you decide to feed for, know that you have given your precious babe the best start!
Congratulations on your little one and good news that you've not had any problems feeding her.
You know what? All mothers, everywhere, find that there are things about mothering that they don't particularly like. Often they do them anyway, because they believe they're best for their babies. So no, I don't think that makes you strange.
It's quite common to feel overwhelmed, or touched out or even experience an aversion in the early weeks as our babies needs are so great and it's generally all on as as mums. It may get easier for you, you may push on through it, or you may decide to stop. It's up to you.
Hi, The others are right. People feel a range of emotions about breastfeeding (some even all on the same day!) Breastfeeding is very intense at the start particularly. I think the desire to breastfeed comes from within. Most people get a lot of encouragement to bottlefeed at the first sign of trouble, but yet they continue breastfeeding anyway. Sometimes feelings about breastfeeding are part of a bigger issue, and would not be all together solved if you were not breastfeeding. How did you go with your decision making about the anti-depressants?
I decided not to because dh said no bf if I'm on them and I've been much better this week now that dh has been putting her to sleep so I can go to bed early
Thanks everyone I feel much better knowing I'm not the only one I'm gonna try small goals 2months 4 months etc..
I think your right I do feel a bit touched out looking after 2 kids all day
it sounds like you are having a bit of a tough time, but working through it. Not sure why your dh would ignore your doctor’s advice about your optimal emotional health, when there was a very safe medication available that is compatible with breastfeeding. It sounds like things are doing better for you - but it’s your health and wellbeing and you shouldn’t have to choose.
The dr also said she would prefer I not take them and I'm also not comfortable with the fact no one knows the effect on the child in the future with them being exposed to the medication while the brain is developing it is a bit tough but I know it will end eventually
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