why is there such a debate over breast vs bottle?

[fattysmum]

i hope no one takes this the wrong way but my biggest problem is people wanting me to explain why i do some things that come with bfing but then they get upset when i ask them why they did what they did. i wasnt talking about mothers that have had an issue before and so didnt wanna try again although u do never know till you try,or mums that have tried and had huge issues,or mums that couldnt cause of medical reasons all of those women at some point gave it a go at least even if it didnt last out they didnt find help they maybe could have or they may have got it working with second child if they had tried again. all of those reason are understandle. i know how hard it can be to lots of eople in those situation and i dont blame them. the mums i was really talking about is the first time mum who wont even consider trying,the first time mum that gives up cause she wants to for herself, the young mum who cant hack being a mum so she just wont do or try bfing.those are the mums that get me upset over this topic not the other mums that at least tried once b4

[kelebek]

I can see that this is something you are passionate about and I fed my DS for 27 mnths and often feel frustration whenever I see a bottle...

HOWEVER at the end of the day I know nothing about thier lives and who knows if I lived in thier shoes I would probably make the same decision and I don't think age has anything to do with it... a first time mum is a first time mum no matter her age.

I think another previous poster said it well.... sometimes it's not about understanding but respecting everyone's choice

[StrawberryFields]

Some first time mum's don't get the chance to try - my mum's milk never came in. She gave me BM from a donor and I was primary lactose intolerant anyway - I guess it was just nature being efficient! I plan on trying to BF the twins but I can't ignore that I might not get the chance to try either, or they will reject it (all the girls on my maternal side have been primary lactose intolerant for the last 4 generations) so am preparing for both options.

But I digress.

I think debates like this pop up because everyone thinks everybody else is entitled to their opinion on everything. It doesn't just happen with BF vs FF, it happens with Holden vs Ford, Xbox vs PS3, Vegetarian vs Non-vegetarian, Liberal vs Conservative, Religion vs Science, NRL vs AFL, eveything from the fundamental and moral, to trivial, mindless crap *cough* Team Edward vs Team Jacob *cough*. Its just another thing for people to argue over, and to do so is simply human nature.

[briggsy's girl]

the mums i was really talking about is the first time mum who wont even consider trying,the first time mum that gives up cause she wants to for herself, the young mum who cant hack being a mum so she just wont do or try bfing.those are the mums that get me upset over this topic not the other mums that at least tried once b4

they are still mums, they still deserve the respect of any other mum - first time parent - tenth time parent. breast - formula. VB or CS.

we are ALL parents making the choices WE choose to make.

it is not compulsory to put a child to your breast when it is born. it may be preferable in the grander scheme of things, but there has ALWAYS been mothers who have not, for whatever reason, breastfed their child - that's what wet nurses were for (and still are, in some places) - and there will always be mothers who don't.

you can't judge that choice. you may not, and probably never will, understand that choice - but you can't judge it. the reason someone chooses not to BF may seem small and insignificant to you, but may be insurmountable to someone else. Every individual approaches parenthood with different history, different reasons for their choices. two people having the same birth experience, and the same complications with BF may have two very DIFFERENT outcomes due to pychological issues experienced by them. no one can judge that

i think it's fantastic you found BF easy. many people don't (i didn't - but i continue BF 2 years down the track). some are able to persevere and overcome the issues, others can't and/or don't wish to - and ultimately, that is their choice. generic "they should have tried harder" comments only fuel the debate - one that really shouldn't exist

it is our responsibility to do the best we can for our OWN children. we don't need to induce guilt in others by questioning their choices or making sweeping generalisations. Unconditional support is a whole lot more beneficial than questioning the motivations of anyone else. you will NEVER be able to totally understand that motivation because you haven't lived that individuals life - so all it does is mess with your own head as you try to understand the impossible. let it go, and do all you can to enjoy the mothering experience you have with your little one - however they are fed. nurturing them, body, mind, soul - far more important than the method of feeding IMO





i do agree that the aggressive marketing by formula companies isn't appropriate, esp in underdeveloped countries - but that is a whole different story...

[courts&munchkins]

See my opinion is even if a woman chooses never to attempt breastfeeding, even if in rare cases that choice is purely for selfish reasons, it's still so what. I still don't have any right to have an opinion over her choice. I can guarantee all of us will make selfish decisions in the course of parenthood so none of us are immune to that.

Formula is not a poison. It is inferior to breast milk yes but it is designed to nourish babies and they will grow and thrive on it. It wasn't so long ago babies were brought up on carnation and powdered milk. Yes formula feeding comes with some increased risks to a baby but it's no different to choosing to inject known toxins into a babies blood stream to try and reduce exposure to disease and vice versa. We make the best decision we can and we have to deal with the consequences as a result. Just because 2 decisions are different doesn't make either is wrong.

So for some breastfeeding is the be all and end all, others it's not so important. Neither are wrong... they are just different.

Sent from my HTC Desire using Tapatalk

[MummyNaomi]

I looked at the title of this thread and just sighed

I think if Mothers worried more about their own children that what all the other Mothers were doing we'd ALL be better Mothers

[*EJ*]

I chose to breastfeed and yes it means a lot to me to be able to do it. Many around me didn't, some gave it a go, some took formula to the hospital never wanting to give it a go. Yes i have my opinions on this but it's not for me to say. It's a debate i don't even contemplate having with my friends and family as i am not them and i am in no position to tell them what is best for their child.

I understand this is something you're passionate about but your passion may not measure up to someone elses and this doesn't necessarily mean the health and well being of their child is compromised.

[nothing2lose]

I looked at the title of this thread and just sighed

I think if Mothers worried more about their own children that what all the other Mothers were doing we'd ALL be better Mothers

Yep that.

For instance Fattysmum, you have posted elsewhere that you smoke cigarettes. A lot of women would find that really disturbing that a mother with an infant would do this given the associated health risks for your child (not to mention yourself!). Elsewhere you have said that your boyfriend is drug affected around your child and that he smokes a lot of marijuana while your child is in the house. IMO, both of these things are much, much worse than FF a child.

I think the lesson here is dont judge because none of us are perfect.

[westy]

Yep that.

For instance Fattysmum, you have posted elsewhere that you smoke cigarettes. A lot of women would find that really disturbing that a mother with an infant would do this given the associated health risks for your child (not to mention yourself!). Elsewhere you have said that your boyfriend is drug affected around your child and that he smokes a lot of marijuana while your child is in the house. IMO, both of these things are much, much worse than FF a child.

I think the lesson here is dont judge because none of us are perfect.

Great post n2l

[Phteven]

Closing this now.