Would you let someone else breastfeed your bub?

[boomba]

Yes I would allow my baby to be BF and I would feed anothers baby.

DH and I spoke about this when I was pg with DS2 and I said if anyhting happened to me under no circumstnaces will this baby have fomula...he would have to find someone to BF him and we agreed.
My friend actually told me she would let me feed her daughter after the same discussion wiht her DH.

As long as it was a trusted friend and I knew they were healthy I wouldnt think twice. I also think you can bond wiht your baby in other ways to so the bonding at the breats doesnt phase me.

I would put my hand up to be a wet nurse anyday...It would be a little odd at first as it is not in our culure to do so but once we got the hang of it it would be fine

[Bumperstump Cummerbund]

Obviously I don't have firsthand (or breast!) experience, but this is something that our 'group' does from time to time if necessary. Like, Mum's gone out somewhere and bub needs a feed, one of the other girls will feed. Maybe because its so natural, I feel that I wouldn't have a problem either feeding another child or allowing my own to be fed by one of the girls. And while I agree with the bonding facet of breastfeeding, if its just an occasional thing its alright. I've noticed that the babies are much more willing to be comforted by any of the girls once they've been fed by someone other than their mother - but mum's always best of course

I would accept donor milk, but I don't think I would be happy to let another woman breastfeed my child longterm - and TBH, I don't think another woman would have time to! She'd have her own children to look after, much less come over to my place and feed mine! But just because my bub isn't getting milk from me, doesn't mean it wouldn't be comforted by my breast, and we could hopefully still continue that bonding time...

[Glamourcide]

When you get down to it, I have no idea which cow just supplied me with the milk in my cup of tea!

A very valid point, J But... somehow I don't think are too many cows getting around the paddock with communicable diseases or yucky lifestyle habits like smoking/drinking/drugs that might affect my bub if she were to take milk from it! Jk I can definitely understand why a lot of us aren't entirely comfortable with the thought of another woman BFing our child - our society sees formula as completely normal, if not 'better' than BFing in some cases (which I know it is NOT, but I cannot account for the thousands of people out there who haven't accessed resources like BB that can normalise what USED to be a totally standard practice in childrearing, and instead follow the herd as far as opinion on this stuff goes), so it takes a lot of convincing for people to change their perspective. It's great that we can get these discussions going and open our minds

[Inanna]

BUT... the average cow in the average paddock is chockoblock full of pesticides, chemicals and ab's & that doesn't stop people using their milk!!!! (I know I know a little off topic!!!)

[~Kim~]

Yes I would, do both. Allow my child to be fed and feed another.
I'd definitely prefer it to be someone I aslo had a bond with - whether it be blood or love but if I needed donated milk I'm all for screened milk from strangers. Having worked in a NICU where EBM mixups are treated like a bodily fluids contamination kinda influenced that though.
When my sister had her third bub 6 months ago she wanted to not bother with BFing so I offered some EBM to give her little guy some antibodies to start with - she was horrified.

It's actually quite common place up here and widely accepted. All the indigenous women do it, so have helped the cause immensely.

Arcadia your playgroup sounds pretty amazing.

[Glamourcide]

^ Absolutely true, Inanna One of those things we don't put a lot of thought into as a society, we just accept it as 'the norm' and reject anything outside our comfy little boxes! My friends think I'm an idiot because I actually do things like research what is in the food my kids and I are consuming, they just read the box that says, 'Contains less than 3% fat!' in big bright letters and assume it's healthy... when the reason it's got no fat is because it's 99.8% SUGAR But pre-packaged junk and overly processed foods that don't even vaguely resemble their natural state these days are 'normal', much the same as baby milk from a tin is more 'normal' than sharing the natural goodness of fresh, top-quality human milk

[Inanna]

I sadly hear you Glamourcide.... It is sooooo true & a battle that I also trudge through... xxx

[Smoke Jaguar]

Arcadia, I want your playgroup!!

[Ginger]

i would have no problem with someone else bfing my child or with bfing another child myself.
like mayaness said, bfing is important for the pathways in the brain so if it can't be done by the mother, it would be great to have a wetnurse to step in.

[krisp]

Absolutely not! Now that I've said that let me expand.

I know breast milk is nutritionally best for bub, I would never debate that there is no point, it's a no brainer. But IMHO the actual act of BF is about so much more than giving nutrition. When we feed our babies be it BF or holding them close and giving them expressed breast milk or formula in a bottle we are opening our heart and soul to them. We hold them close to our body so they can feel us, smell us and hear our hearts beating together. We whisper words of love and encouragement and let them feel totally enveloped in a cocoon of love and protection. It's priceless, it's special and it's an expression of love and devotion not simply nutrition.

So no I would not allow allow another woman to BF my baby.

[*star*]

I have to do a bit more thinking about it in general and probably really wouldn’t know until the situation arose.

But, as far as being dead goes, I really can’t see having someone else bf my child be a possibility. The logistics of that are just impossible – we don’t live in the kind of communities that allow that easy substitution. Ie DH would still be looking after the child, and say my close friend who is due at the same time could theoretically bf. He would somehow need to transport either the child or at least the milk (and then you miss out on the whole neurological being “at the breast” thing) 20 mins each way for each feed. Totally impractical. And all the extra time the friend would have to spend feeding or expressing. Too much burden.

Still more to think about though.

[Inanna]

I understand what you are saying I think Krisp.

However, I just invite you to look at the situation a different way... (respectfully and kindly I am certainly not diminishing or disrespecting your personal perspective - just inviting a different slant ) Isn't it wonderful if another Woman opens her heart & loves your baby, explores the ability we Women innately have (& men also for that matter!) to love fully & wholly without limits or boundaries. You are his/her mother and there is so much to that role. We allow another person to "deliver" our babies if we have a surgical birth but that makes us no less the birhting mother. To allow another to comfort our child at our nipple doesn't take the mother role away - just sharing some!

Imagine just for a moment the type of world we would have if we could all love each others children with a love that aims to be like that we feel for our own birthed children?

[BellyBelly]

I would do both, absolutely (no surprises there )

[Arcadia]

^yeah that^

I think the sharing of breastfeeding is so special because your baby can be loved by others! What a gift to both them and your baby. To feed another baby isn't the same experience as feeding your own (for me anyway). It was like kissing and cuddling another baby- it feels very different to your own itms??

Oh and you're welcome to join our playgroup!!

[Inanna]

Arcadia when I had my first daughter (when she was about 6 months) I had a playgroup like yours. Fabulous it was! I love to hear that other women are able to connect like you are with other Women & their babies. Life is good!

[sushee]

yes I would allow someone else to BFed my baby, and I would BFed someone else's baby, if they wanted me to. Obviously the health/habits of the mother BFing my child would have some impact on my decision, but that's the same as any other consideration. I wouldn't allow a drug addict to look after my child, why would I let them BFed him? But generally speaking, I would prefer wet nursing to giving my child, or someone else's child, formula.

Which reminds me of a little story btw...

My sister's DD was 18 months when I was still BFing Charlie, and she was fascinated (having only been bottle fed from birth). She asked her mum if she could try some, and her mum asked me, and I said 'sure!'. So she had a couple of sucks, said it tasted sweet, and went off happy. Breastfeeding to her became 'normal' in the space of those few seconds, and she went on to 'pretend' BFed her doll for weeks after.

I've even expressed for my older kids and hubby to try. They've all had a taste. Hell, it's just milk! From a human! Made for humans! Lol! So I don't have any issues with it at all. I cetainly don't feel it would ruin the bond with my child any more than bottlefeeding would ruin my bond with my child.

[~clover~]

My friends here all have boys around the same age. During times of the boys not feeding (as we all know they can just refuse for no reason sometimes) one has fed another one's DS to relieve engorgement.
I'm not sure how I'd feel about it, or if I'd do it, but I'd have no problem putting it in a bottle for someone else, or them for mine.

[Glamourcide]

^^ Lol Sushee, slightly OT but my DH and DD1 both gave BM a shot when I was BFing DD2 I love that DD1 (who was bottle-fed EBM and formula pretty much from birth) still comes up to me now with her shirt pulled down and asks if I 'wanna boobie feed?' and BFs all her dolls as well. As you say - human milk, for humans, by humans - what could be more natural about it? I was telling DH the other day that 'wouldn't it be great if society saw BM as it is, and we could go to Coles and buy cheese and yoghurt made from human milk instead of cow's milk? Cartons of human milk instead?' and he told me 'stop carrying on with this c--- while I'm eating!', but seriously... wouldn't it be nice if as a society, we could accept BM as the 'norm'? If we had enough to go around and the ability to mass-produce it, so to speak?