Breast feeding or Bottle feeding, i have a hard decision to make, and im scared..

[nickle730]

Anila, like Kazbah I read your post and thought 'I could have written that'. My third baby is now 7.5 weeks old. I had breast reduction surgery years ago and when I had my DD I was given conflicting advice as to whether I should try to BF or would be wasting my time. I knew very little about BF and ultimately my DD was fully FF by three weeks. When my DS was born I was a lot more educated and determined to give BF my best efforts. He lost weight, wouldn't settle and I had to start comp feeding him at about 10 days. I ended up with a big dose of PND and felt that I had 'failed' my DS by not being able to provide him with solely BM. He was fully FF by 3 months.

So here I am with bub number three. This time, I am determined to look back in a few years time and measure my BF success not by whether I was able to feed without FF comps, not even by how long we BF for... I will measure my success by knowing that I did my absolute best for my baby. Miss P lost her 10% in about 8 or 9 days. By 12 days her loss was unacceptable, her urinary output was inadequate and I had no choice but to comp feed with formula. I cried. I did feel like I had failed. I also thought we were on the long slippery slope to 100% FF. But you know what? Here we are, 6 weeks later, and we are STILL BF. It has taken effort and determination not to fall down the slippery slide, but I remind myself how important it is to me to maintain this BF relationship - and my DH reminds me too. So, each feed I BF first and if DD is not satisfied at the end of the feed either DH or I offer a FF comp. Sometimes Miss P takes 10mls, sometimes she takes 50mls. That's OK, I'm happy because we are BF, she's happy because she's not hungry. Overnight, we only BF as Miss P wants that comfort from mumma and refuses the bottle. I love that! We have found a BF relationship which works for US and it really doesn't matter what anyone else's opinion of it is (because everyone has an opinion, even complete strangers, and they're not afraid to express it!). I know that I am doing the best for my baby that I can.

My point is, you don't need to decide one way or another. You can decide now that you ARE going to try to BF but that doesn't exclude FF top-ups IF your bub needs them (and maybe s/he won't). Make the commitment to try BF again, because it sounds like that is what you truly want, and spend the time until the birth educating yourself and gathering a support group around you. Like Kazbah said, there are many ways to increase your milk supply. This time, I'm taking Motilium, eating cookies and expressing regularly. For me, these things have resulted in a much greater supply than last time. Most importantly, you need your DH's support. He needs to understand that this is important to you and that you need his support. When you are doubting your own ability and supply, it is his job to bolster your confidence and remind you why you are persevering - because it is important to you.

Anila, you sound like you are under so much pressure to make decisions regarding BF this bub or not. You sound, to me, like you are already feeling anxious about it. If that is the case, I reckon you are setting yourself up to feel like you have 'failed'. Measure your success not by whether you are able to solely BF your baby, but by knowing you have done the absolute best for your baby that you can.