Considering giving up breastfeeding for my own physical/emotional health

[MantaRay]

Oh hun, how awful for you

I agree with the suggestions to see a physio. I had minor stress incontinence long after DS2 weaned. I'd been doing exercises and nothing had helped. Then I looked up a physio specializing in women's health and it was the best thing I did. Turns out mine wasn't just about muscle strength but also to do with my funny spine. She went through lots of strategies with me and in a few weeks it was actually fixed. I couldn't believe it. If only i'd seen her earlier.

Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that a physio can probably help you. All the best hun, I really hope you find some relief soon.

[Emma1979]

oh wow, we hadn't discussed medical/drug options.... that is interesting - i wonder what type of incontinence it is for? what sort did you have, stress or urgency or what? mine is so severe, honestly, if i am standing up i am literally wetting myself... i am fine sitting or laying down, but standing i am hopeless.... if only i could go through life laying down...!!

i have seen a physio and while she was reassuring about giving things more time to recover etc, i am not sure if she specialises in this sort of thing, so i might look for one who does...

i am still sore inside at 5 weeks, but just on one side.... i am thinking this might actually be a good thing, as it shows i still have'nt recovered, so there is a chance things may improve...

i suppose i just need to accept that the next 3-4 months are going to be horrible and i won't be leave the house too much.... then when enough time has passed if things aren't any better i can look at surgery and get things fixed (hopefully)... its a hard thing to accept though, these circumstances, but i think instead of fixating on it and constantly thinking how awful i feel, if i just accept it and get on with things, then maybe i will feel better somehow. not sure if that makes sense.

[Kmn]

Have you seen a continence nurse? There are lots of (quite yucky but not as yucky as being housebound and messy) things like serious pads and disposable car seat protector thingies and semi-waterproof knickers that could help you over the next little while as you sort it out.
Are you having trouble emptying completely as well - there may be options to help there too, so that you can go to the loo and know that you will be right for a while afterwards.

[Janie]

Emma, . I highly recommend seeing a women's health physio in your situation. They really know what they're doing, it's amazing how they can whip you into shape! And please give yourself and your body more time, it really hasn't been very long, although I'm sure it feels like forever for you

[Curly]

No disrespect to your current physio but you will get better results, faster, with a specialist. Do you have your 6 week check coming up - you should be able to get a recommendation then, if you can't find someone yourself faster. And you'll be able to ask them about all the options people have raised in this thread so you can get some professional answers.

I wouldn't resign myself to being housebound for the next 3 months - with treatment you should improve enough in that time to feel more comfortable venturing out in less time. If your postnatal bleeding has stopped maybe you should invest in some incontinence pads just so you can get out of the house. Getting out of the 4 walls of your house would do you a power of good. Are you getting outside at all, even into the backyard? It sounds stupid but make sure you are getting some sunlight every day, it's good for your serotonin levels (happy hormones). Pineapple juice is also good apparently (sounds mad, I know! but that's what the midwives at the hospital told me when I was suffering the baby blues).

At only 5 weeks post birth there is no way you should consider yourself physically recovered. I still couldn't sit down comfortably at that point. I felt so fragile, both emotionally and physically, and I cried a lot. As I posted in another thread, after my own forceps birth and second degree tear I was still leaking occasionally until about 3 months post birth...it did get less and less, there was a good improvement at about 6-7 weeks post birth...and when I did the "cough and jump" test at around 4 months with a full bladder I was able to hold on (just! but I could do it).

Whilst my incontinence wasn't as bad as yours I wasn't seeing a specialist physio at all, but I did only have a newborn to deal with so much more opportunity to lie down. I did my exercises lying down as much as possible to start off with because that was the position in which I found it easiest to isolate the muscles...I remember that frustration of not being able to feel anything.

I really hope you are able to take the time to get away to see a physio...try to call in as many favours as possible. Is your mum around or any friends who can at least babysit your oldest child? I don't know what your DH does for a living, but can he take any time off here and there to enable you to get to some appointments (ie first thing in the morning or last appointment of the day). I really admire you for soldiering on, with 2 kids to look after you must have so little time on your hands.

[Emma1979]

i have made an appointment with a specialist physio that deals in this sort of thing in malvern for early march, it is going to be a fair drive so i don't know how i am going to make it in the car, but anyways i am going...

i have the incontinence pads, its just that without exagerating, if i am standing or walking, i can literally be weeing without knowing, until i feel wet.... so the pads are good, but if that happens it is a disaster.... last night i was brave and went out for tea, i thought i was doing so well, but when i went to the toilet i discovered my pad was soaked and my undies wet, and here i was thinking i was holding on..... its so frustrating....

also i am disheartened because it seems my problem is from the catheter being pulled from the bladder into the urethra, so the little valve thingi that is meant to shut off and open up for urine, has been stretched by this balloon catheter, so the valve isn't working at all, which is why i am leaking (plus a dodgy pelvic floor)... i'm not sure how much exercise etc is going to help, although i will do it obviously, but at the end of the day if the wee is coming out because of this injury by the catheter, what hope do i have....

i am meant to be going to qld in 2 weeks but really don't see how i can go..... i feel so guilty as my kids and family are suffering because i am so depressed and feel like i can't go anywhere... i have my mum helping out and my dp has taken time off work, but everytime i move i feel myself leaking and i am just so scared its going to be a huge leak, that i really don't want to go far from home at all.... i keep emptying my bladder every hour so its never really full, and i am trying not to drink huge amounts in one go, and space out little drinks frequently, but i am still so scared of having an accident....

thanks for reading it helps to get it out... i don't tell my partner much as he doesn't know what to say, he isn't much of a talker in these sorts of situations...

i don't know whether to just say stuff it and go to qld and deal with whatever happens, or stay home where i feel safer.... if i go and it is just awful it will make me feel even more depressed... everytime i have an accident or a huge leak it makes me feel worse and worse.... but i don't want my little girl to miss out on the fun we had promised her, plus its all payed for.... i dunno what to do.

[sloane]

emma, it sounds like you're having a seriously tough time. it's crazy enough with a NB, without extra stress on top of it.

i don't have any advice but wanted to pop in & offer some more virtual support. i hope the specialist in malvern is able to give you some assistance - and hopefully some of it starts working quickly. is the appt before your trip? i hope you're able to go on your holiday without any worry.

[AnyDream]

Sweetie - big big You sound so distressed. I had a small brush with incontinence while I was having chemo and it was very distressing & nowhere as severe as yours so my heart really goes out to you. :hugs:

First of all - DON'T WAIT. Ring the specialist physio back, explain that it's a severe incontinence issue and not a slight one - and ask to be placed on their cancellation list or speak to the physio directly. They may be able to squeeze you in earlier because of the severity.

Secondly - I'm sure the physio you saw meant to reassure you about it getting better over a period of time but that is not IMO an excuse not to treat this as proactively as possible. As Blu-K said, there are some medications that might help (Ditropan - sorted mine out completely) which is worth discussing with your GP, but at the very least you should be consulting with an incontinence nurse who will help you with some exercises as well as coping strategies. Underlined because you are doing an admirable job of getting on with things but it does sound like you feel like you're not coping.

BTW they have all sorts of gadgets to help, my friend had this thing she sat on which (??? not sure how it worked) but it re-taught everything how to work properly.

BTW don't give up hope with the pelvic floor exercises - you *will* reap the benefit, but it tends to be more noticeable in hindsight, kwim? But to me it sounds like you need more help than "just" the exercises, so make sure you communicate how severely this is impacting your life so you get that help NOW.