He Wants Me To Wean

[~ Zarava Flutterby ~]

Thank you again everyone, i guess it's about finding a balance, DP has been home for 3mths and i think he felt bad because although she loves him and would go to him for cuddles and things she refused to stop yelling BOOBY at him while i wasn't here.
She eventually fell asleep of her own accord (in the lounge after MANY tears) but she wont even settle via cuddles for me so it would have been harder for him.
She no longer feeds to sleep unless she's ill so were lucky there but she will still often ask for booby of an evening and i think she knew she could push the bounds while i wasn't home.

DP's back at work today so will just see how we go from now on.

[aussienic]

I remember my Dh saying to me when Ds3 was over 1 that when I was going to wean cus he was getting so big..

I brought up some websites and said he will wean when he is ready.. and my dh is right into BF but still felt I should wean until I showed him the info and said nope I will let bub self wean..

Plus I pointed out that it helped him sleep and it was easy to get him to settle if he was sad or hurt or very tired.. Hope your DH realizes the benefits

[Kmn]

Learning to settle for someone else doesn't require weaning. It just requires lots of patience and persistence and the reassurance from you that it's OK that bub is upset, as long as Dad is there - and also the reassurance that sometimes she won't settle instantly for you either!
I hope you can find an arrangement that works for all.

[misty]

that sounds like a difficult situation hun. I'm sorry there is tension in your relationship because of how you feed your DD.

With all due respect to the PP who simply state that it's not his decision, I don't think it's that simple. Yes, on the face of it, it's totally up to you how you feed your baby and for how long etc etc and in theory I support that 100% but in reality, you have to live with his attitude and feelings about your feeding and while it's fine to stand your ground and give him no input if that's what you choose to do, I think that will only lead to more tenion/stress and that will affect you and then your daughter too - rightly or wrongly.

:yeahthat:

I hope you can reach a resolution / compromise.
I think you need to have a good think yourself about 'why' you feel so strongely about continuing (just as much as why he feels so strongely about you stopping). Is it emotional for you? Is it purely for the physical benefits? Try and pinpoint your own honest reasons (ie, reasons that 'really' resonate with you, not just because they are the things commonly used to defend long term breastfeeding).

If you know exactly what it is that means you want to hold onto breastfeeding for so long, then you may be able to reach a compromise with your hubby that fullfills BOTH your needs. ie, if it is purely the physical benefits, maybe expressing is an option. If it is for the closeness, maybe you can try and recreate that in some other fashion.

There is no 'right' or 'wrong' answer in regards to extended breastfeeding. Just differing (valid) opinions. And neither yours, nor his opinion is any less valid in this instance. Communication and negotiation are the keys to this. Which means neither of you are likely to get 100% what you would hope for, but hopefully a compromise can be reached where both of you can live comforrtably with the decision for the time being.

[RhiChiChi]

Well said ~Kaz~ and Misty - I agree with both these posts. (can't give you rep points Misty, gotta spread the love around!)

[onthefly]

Agree with kmn that it's just a matter of working things out. Even if you did wean, it doesn't mean it will magically be easier for him. I fed DS to sleep for ages, but DH always had to do something else. Actually he got really good at settling DS and was much better at it than me (probably because he didn't have the boobs to fall back on)

I think these are two separate issues and the breastfeeding side of things is really up to you.