Breastfeeding works - it really does! Join the Australian Breastfeeding Association (if you haven't done already) They are an amazing source of knowledge and support. It's really good to hang out with people that know and understand what you are going through
Heidi is growing happily - you are doing a great job!
From now on her milk intake will be pretty steady - not constantly increasing as it has up until now. So don't make the mistake of thinking that as she grows more you will need to somehow become even more of a super-milk-woman.
Well done to both of you.
I know all too well those feelings, I had them with DD1, and it is hard, very hard to overcome and TBH with her, I don't think I ever overcame those fears, even after 12 months there just wasn't enough there and she just because more and more frustrated until she self weaned........ which was was of my concerns this time around, could I believe that I could actually do it....
I can see that this time I can do it, I made the decision early on to not only physically, but mentally and emotionally prepare for breast feeding, knowing that I could be facing similar complications again> I thought I if I could do everything possible to ensure my supply was good, with lots of and discussions with my OB and then I decided that to achieve it I need to have complete faith in my body and its abilities.
I think that the milk supply of mothers of prems can, but not always be affected psycologically, because unless you have travelled the path of a prem I think there is some aspects that are just not fully understood or comprehended, there is a heightened level of stress, worry, concern, the figures often are much more in the backs of our minds, we also place a LOT of pressure on ourselves. You went through a massive rollercoaster ride with Miss Heidi, and while it may not be at the forefront every waking minute like it was in the early days it is still very much there and be be very consuming at times.
A friend who had a little boy at 25 weeks, and he was a good size, suffered NEC as well, is now a little pocket rocket at just over 12 months, he isn't going to be a big boy, because of the effects that the NEC had, but he is a perfect gorgeous and amazing little man
But some positive affirmations for you:
You are doing an amazing job BF'ing
Your body does have the ability to meet all of Heidi's needs to grow
The charts are not the be all and end all, Heidi will follow her own curve, and as long as that curve is on an upwards trend, she is doing fabulously, numbers are numbers but your can see that Heidi, is happy, sleeping and growing out of her clothes, albeit it not at a rapid rate, she is growing.
You are an inspiration for all those who have the challenge of BF'ing a prem, because hun, you went through hell and highwater and look at what you have achieved - you ROCK!!!
Thank you all so much. It means a great deal to me to have so much support.
Limey I wish I could express 150ml! I left some EBM for DP to give her last night while I was out and she was unimpressed when it ran out so he had to defrost more - she drank 150ml which kind of staggered me. And in place of the feed I sat down to express 60ml....which had me a little disheartened to say the least.
I guess I still feel like I'm on a knife edge in lots of ways when really my supply is probably reasonably well established now. I still panic about leaving her in case that one feed I miss will be the end of my milk supply. But I have to find a way to trust and be comfortable because I'm going to be leaving her for a couple of hours at a time soon so I can do a bit of paid work here and there (we need the $ after a lean year last year).
Beema thank you hun, your post rang true in so many ways. And those affirmations and those in the other posts are exactly what I needed to help buoy me along today. I'm so pleased your friend and her little boy are doing well....sounds like his journey was similar to DDs.
When I look at her and see how happy and healthy she is, and how settled she is during the day and nights its hard to see how anything could be wrong. And I know she's getting bigger just by looking at her.
Beema has said it all so well, especially about the experience always being there in your mind, making you question yourself. But you have come so far together it is truly amazing. Miss H will probably always be petite, but as long as she is growing and developing, and you can see she is healthy and happy, don't doubt yourself. it is natural to worry, and doubly so when you have been through such a rollercoaster, but we have so much faith in you both. What you have achieved is amazing and inspirational.
ps. over you having to throw away all that EBM!
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over you having to throw away all that EBM!
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