Help me trust.....

[*Infinity*]

That the rules of supply & demand will apply and my body is providing enough for my girl.

That what I manage to express with a pump is not the best indicator of my supply. So stop doing my own head in worrying about it

That when DD takes 150ml of EBM while I go out to a pilates class for one whole hour (gee whiz lucky me) surely I would've been able to give that to her if she'd fed from the breast.

That when DD sleeps through I should thank my lucky stars and trust that my supply won't suddenly fall of the face of the earth.

That eventually I will build up a good freezer stash of EBM again....after throwing litres out that I didn't have room to store when DD came home

That expressing won't be a part of my life permanently and eventually I'll be able to chuck the stupid thing away and forget that I lived & breathed it for so long (reminds me a bit too much of dark times).

Thanks. I just needed to get that out. My rational brain tells me everything will be ok. My 'freaked out mumma with a few battle wounds' brain is telling me otherwise.

Over & out.

[Miss.B]

Oh hun, your post made me laugh! Thanks

Yes, your rational brain is right, everything will be OK. Just trust.

You're doing a fantastic job, I have no doubt. Keep on going!

Big hugs xx

[onthefly]

Well I trust that your body can do all that

[tk1999]

Well I trust that your body can do all that

Me too....

I know that it is hard to trust in your body after a premmie. I just wanted to let you know that I think you are amazing... watching the story of Miss H and yourself unfold - your microprem story is very inspirational to me.

[LimeSlice]

I have nothing but faith you can do that.

I couldn't express for quids, would barely get anything, no matter what I tried. I am in awe of you being able to get 150ml!!
Nonetheless, my supply was more than plentiful, and I have no doubt pumping output is no indicator of sufficient supply.

Enjoy your pilates, and trust your body, and your babe, they will work together and are doing beautifully.

[MrsBexie]

your body is amazing and will produce exactly what she needs!!!!
if you don't have faith in your body, don't worry, we will for you!! xx

[UntoldAngel]

[MantaRay]

It is very hard to relax after having a premmie. For so long you lived and breathed mls and grams, not to mention all the stress and emotional stuff. Now you can relax and look at nappy counts and overall health and settledness rather than measurements, but it's not that easy to just click over. I have no doubt that you will get there though hun. Your body is doing an awesome job of sustaining Miss H - your breastmilk kept her alive in those early days and weeks, and it is still sustaining her and providing her with everything she needs. You can do it - you are doing it

[Barb Glare]

Breastfeeding works - it really does! Join the Australian Breastfeeding Association (if you haven't done already) They are an amazing source of knowledge and support. It's really good to hang out with people that know and understand what you are going through

[Kmn]

Heidi is growing happily - you are doing a great job!
From now on her milk intake will be pretty steady - not constantly increasing as it has up until now. So don't make the mistake of thinking that as she grows more you will need to somehow become even more of a super-milk-woman.
Well done to both of you.

[toomanyshoes]

[MummaSue]

[Manhattan]

You are doing a wonderful job, trust in your body and yourself

[*Beema*]

I know all too well those feelings, I had them with DD1, and it is hard, very hard to overcome and TBH with her, I don't think I ever overcame those fears, even after 12 months there just wasn't enough there and she just because more and more frustrated until she self weaned........ which was was of my concerns this time around, could I believe that I could actually do it....

I can see that this time I can do it, I made the decision early on to not only physically, but mentally and emotionally prepare for breast feeding, knowing that I could be facing similar complications again> I thought I if I could do everything possible to ensure my supply was good, with lots of and discussions with my OB and then I decided that to achieve it I need to have complete faith in my body and its abilities.

I think that the milk supply of mothers of prems can, but not always be affected psycologically, because unless you have travelled the path of a prem I think there is some aspects that are just not fully understood or comprehended, there is a heightened level of stress, worry, concern, the figures often are much more in the backs of our minds, we also place a LOT of pressure on ourselves. You went through a massive rollercoaster ride with Miss Heidi, and while it may not be at the forefront every waking minute like it was in the early days it is still very much there and be be very consuming at times.

A friend who had a little boy at 25 weeks, and he was a good size, suffered NEC as well, is now a little pocket rocket at just over 12 months, he isn't going to be a big boy, because of the effects that the NEC had, but he is a perfect gorgeous and amazing little man

But some positive affirmations for you:

You are doing an amazing job BF'ing
Your body does have the ability to meet all of Heidi's needs to grow
The charts are not the be all and end all, Heidi will follow her own curve, and as long as that curve is on an upwards trend, she is doing fabulously, numbers are numbers but your can see that Heidi, is happy, sleeping and growing out of her clothes, albeit it not at a rapid rate, she is growing.
You are an inspiration for all those who have the challenge of BF'ing a prem, because hun, you went through hell and highwater and look at what you have achieved - you ROCK!!!

[HotI]

You have been such an inspiration to me in how hard you worked to BF your little girl. I have faith that you can do all those things.

[*Infinity*]

Thank you all so much. It means a great deal to me to have so much support.

Limey I wish I could express 150ml! I left some EBM for DP to give her last night while I was out and she was unimpressed when it ran out so he had to defrost more - she drank 150ml which kind of staggered me. And in place of the feed I sat down to express 60ml....which had me a little disheartened to say the least.

I guess I still feel like I'm on a knife edge in lots of ways when really my supply is probably reasonably well established now. I still panic about leaving her in case that one feed I miss will be the end of my milk supply. But I have to find a way to trust and be comfortable because I'm going to be leaving her for a couple of hours at a time soon so I can do a bit of paid work here and there (we need the $ after a lean year last year).

Beema thank you hun, your post rang true in so many ways. And those affirmations and those in the other posts are exactly what I needed to help buoy me along today. I'm so pleased your friend and her little boy are doing well....sounds like his journey was similar to DDs.

When I look at her and see how happy and healthy she is, and how settled she is during the day and nights its hard to see how anything could be wrong. And I know she's getting bigger just by looking at her.

Thank you again from the bottom of my heart.

[thepixie]

Beema has said it all so well, especially about the experience always being there in your mind, making you question yourself. But you have come so far together it is truly amazing. Miss H will probably always be petite, but as long as she is growing and developing, and you can see she is healthy and happy, don't doubt yourself. it is natural to worry, and doubly so when you have been through such a rollercoaster, but we have so much faith in you both. What you have achieved is amazing and inspirational.

ps. over you having to throw away all that EBM!