To be Honest...

[Marlene]

You CAN do it Kate xoxoxooxoxoxo Just have faith in your baby and your boobies
As for missing out on time with Bella due to being stuck on the couch, that sorta doesn't really make sense. If you bottle feed the baby, you are going to still be sitting on the couch with the baby holding it for him/her aren't you?
I found with Jack that once I got the hang of breastfeeding I could pretty much walk around get on with whatever I was doing with bub in one arm while he was on the boob. With a bottle, you need one hand to hold the bub and one hand to hold the bottle.
They can even breast feed while in a sling or carrier

[onthefly]

Not silly - it's good to be honest about how you're feeling, and it's quite natural under the circumstances. I think there was a lot going on during and after the birth first time round that probably affected the initiation of breastfeeding for you. Things will be different this time.

[Junglemum]

Definitely not silly, it just shows how much it means to you and how much you want it. One day at a time, feed by feed. You'll get there and it is well worth any effort. It truly is so easy once you get it all going on. I think it's good to know about possible pain and problems because IF you come across them you know it's ok and you can get past it.

[Smoke Jaguar]

1800mum2mum, babe - you can call them before the birth, too
I recommend reading a book called The Breastfeeding Cafe, if you can find a copy at the library, through your local ABA group library or buying a copy. Loads of anecdotes from women who breastfed under all sorts of circumstances and after varied first, second or third time experiences.

[briggsy's girl]

definitely not silly! it's something you want, but you also don't want to fail - fear of failure is a huge issue in so many parts of our lives babe!

my BF journey wasn't easy to start - four days of no sleep, induction, cascade of intervention, c-sect - so i was physically exhausted etc when DD came along, and, as often happens with c/s, it took longer for my milk to come in. as a PP mentioned, if it takes a while, you may find that you have added pressure to top up with formula for a jaundiced baby, or to express to stimulate your nipples. i was adamant i didn't want to formula feed, so i went with the pump, which, due to flat nipples, left me damaged, and i'm the first to admit the first few days were painful. BUT, the night before we went home, i made the decision i wasn't pumping anymore, nothing could be as effective as DD, so i put her on the boob HEAPS over night. milk came in next morning (i think taking the stress of expressing and formula off the table helped - a lot of the BF let down comes from a hormonal/emotional response - it helped)

anyway, once we got home, it became much easier - our space, we could work together and just chill and let it work. i did a LOT of baby led attachment which helped heaps - no shoving the booby in her gob - i let her find it and draw it out

we hit 18 months next week - exclusive BF for 6 months, then baby led solids/weaning after that. DD started sleeping through (around 8 hours) at 7 weeks-ish. she wasn't a great sleeper during the day, but we had a lot of upheaval with DH home, then away, then home cos of his job, and i think that messed her up a bit now knowing who was going to be there during the day - but she was a great night sleeper for ages (not so much now - but teething and then getting sick and moving and getting sick again has messed that up a bit!).

i was petrified to BF. my body had failed me in every other way, and i guess i assumed it was going to fail again. but at the same time, i was determined it WAS going to happen just so i could say i'd done at least ONE thing right. when the head middie started pushing the formula line i was devastated and i guess i had a split second to decide if i was going to cave or i was going to fight, and instinct told me to fight (til she walked out of the room, and i broke down completely lol). but after all that, 18 months on we're still going strong!



if you want this to happen, continue doing what you're doing - talk it through, find your support. i have to thank one friend who, no matter the time, was there with a "you CAN do this" text when i was feeling low about it all. it was hard work, i won't lie, but it was worth the effort

[Jakabella]

Thanks everyone for your words of support. I really had a bit of a freak out today in regards to it all - birth, feeding and life with a toddler and a newborn. I know I can do it and I will give it my all and I know that if at the end of the day I have tried all I could then thats all I can do. And that goes for my VBAC as well.

Like so many of you I was induced (for 4 days) had my waters broken, had Synto, posterior bub with her head stuck, failure to progress and ended with a emerg c-sect. Bella was also jandice and sleepy and wasnt really interested in sucking for a few days - so the MW and the LC's would grab my boobs and prob and pry - then I was hooked up to a elect pump evey 2 hrs for days and still not a drop - I have to say when it came feed time I was SO stressed! And after 3 days bella had not had a feed so we went with formula as I felt like I was starving her!

I have never really put all these factors together before and I now reliese that stress and fear probably caused me not to get my milk in... I had appointments with the LC's after I got home and the thought of going through all that again bought me to tears to I didn't go... I FF instead. OMG - I really think thats why no milk... thats a huge lightbulb moment for me just now....

[briggsy's girl]

it's common for milk to not come in early after a c/s hun. it's common for stress/outside factors to impact milk. my milk supply changed dramatically with all the stress we've had going on lately. it's really frustrating cos i know what is causing it, but i can't change it. i just let DD feed when she wants to - every feed will boost your supply

i had the "pump every two hours" thing in hospital - and i couldn't bear it. i was getting 2-5ml at best. i ended up refusing to pump and decided to put DD on the breast every 2 hours - DH helped to settle her so i had that support overnight - butt it was less painful having her on there, and my milk came in because, i believe, i had that close contact with her all night. i was dripping like a tap by 10am that next morning.



i would suggest you find someone you are comfortable with that will support and encourage you. someone that can take the "i can't do this" messages at any time. someone that you trust to say "yeah you can, have you tried this? can you do that" - yeah, in an ideal world we'd all have a lactation consultant we trust but we don't live in an ideal world. The LC i dealt with was rude and i swore i'd never go to the "day stay program" while she was part of it lol. make sure your DH is on the same page with BF because, for a while, you will need more support. you can't just ask him to feed your new bub, it's all on you - and you will need him to step up. you need him to understand, from an emotional standpoint, how important this is to you. you FF Isabella, and it is likely he will suggest FF if you are struggling - why is it different for THIS baby - so you need him to know it's not just about the BF positives for your baby, it's about YOU, and YOU deserve to be supported in that choice

good luck hun

[LimeSlice]

It isn't always hard.


I had slightly grazed nipples for the first 3 days I was home.
That's it.
No supply issues
No mastitis - ever
No blood and pain
No fuss

I fed Charlotte for 2 years and 8 months.
And I had a cs.


Not trying upset anyone who had it tough either just my experience.

It is t always hard and until you need to that bridge do yourself a HUGE favor and assume it will be as easy for you as it was for me. Otherwise you may very well be setting yourself up to have it tough, self fullfilling prophecy and all that

[Purple Penguin]

I could have written that opening post myself! I had a horrible time first time round in attempting to BF and due to lack of support etc. I gave up... 2nd time round, I was so so scared to try again and fail, that I just went straight to FF.

It's perfectly ok for you to express your fears and I hear you loud and clear! I wish you all the best for your BF journey next time round!

[Winter]

Hi Jak,

You know, the only pain I ever experienced was when I asked a mw at the hospital to help me atatch Jacob. After that I just did it myself, if it hurt, then it wasn't right, take it out, try again. REPEAT, repeat, repeat...
By day 5 when I left hospital we had it down pat and have never looked back. It can be so easy to BF, It has been for me.

This is my story too. I found breastfeeding incredibly easy so I hope that this gives you some hope!

[onthefly]

Honestly, I think you got some pretty bum advice and help at the hospital. Are you going to the same place? You know heaps more now anyway and with any luck you'll have an entirely different birth experience (in a good way I mean) which can only help.
If you line up some good real-life support (so obviously not those people who shoved your boobs around etc last time) then you'll already be a few steps ahead. Plus you have an online cheer squad standing ready too.

[Shanti]

So firstly, ignore all stories you hear from those who didn't or weren't able to BF their babies. You need to only surround yourself with positive stories okay?

Yes, BF at first can be very hard for some women, for me it was REALLY hard....it took us 3-4mths of challenges before BF was finally established. I was determined to BF my beautiful DD as I knew what the benefits to herself and me would be.(you might remember my story) BUT, you need to know that if you do encounter difficulties, the majority of the time, they CAN be overcome with the right SUPPORT, INFORMATION and HELP.

For the majority of women, BF is only a bit tricky in the first few weeks, then it becomes so much easier!!! I used to BF DD as a young baby while making phone calls or making dinner etc, you can do so much while BF them still!!!

Get in touch with a local IBCLC and get familiar with her while you are pregnant. I am getting in touch with mine very soon as I realise I may need her help once bub comes.

Go to your local ABA breastfeeding class. Very valuable. Start going to breastfeeding meetings in your local group.....pregnant women are more than welcome!! (and yes, even if you FF in the past!!).

Just know you CAN do it. Think about when you travel how EASY it will be you only have to bring YOURSELF....no bottles, formula, sterilising stuff..... just YOU!

It's very few women, even with support and info etc, that actually physically cannot BF. (something like 3-5% of the population, if that).

[Aligater]

My 1st atempt was a failure after 7 weeks as DD1 couldnt latch properly and I had mastitis for the 3rd time so I gave it up as a bad joke.
My 2nd atempt was a dream come true DD2 latched on strait after birth and I had no pain she just knew what she was doing.

[Maruschke]

I'm not going to share my BF experience with DD1 with you, because it's not what you want to hear right now. I only wanted to post to let you know that your reaction at the moment is totally normal, I feel exactly the same way. I am not even pregnant and I am already fearing going back to hospital with BF related issues. This time will be different... different baby, different delivery, different support people. You are probably going to be very proud of yourself in 6 months time when you look back at how well you did BF second time around .

[Mummato2]

Sweetie, let me tell you my experience.

With my DS he was a hard labour/birth which resulted in being separated from him for 2 days and I didn't know any better to dig my heels in. Needless to say I had supply issues from the start, and the moment I had a cracked nipple my mother shouted for me to bottle feed - I didn't question the now obvious things like attachment etc......she had only fed my brother for 2 weeks and I was put straight onto bottles - so I didn't think to doubt her. Most of my friends whined that their babies didn't "sleep through" until formula was introduced so for me it felt the obvious choice.

I regretted it so much when he was about 4 months old but again didn't think to change things, so let it go.

I got pregnant with my DD and was desperate to give her what I didn't give my son. Actually, obsessive was a better way to put it. I advocated my natural birth, got it - never let her leave my sight and co-slept with her for the first month to make sure she had access to feeds whenever she wanted it!! My DH moved out of our room for that month and helped me immensley with our DS......he knew how much I wanted this.

At the end of the first week I had a bout of mastitis - not realising how important it is to check for lumps in the early days and make sure you rub them out so they don't turn nasty. Stayed in bed with DD a few days and was over it.

I hired an LC and made sure her latch was spot on and I can honestly say it was "uncomfortable" for the first 3 or so weeks and then after that a piece of cake.

Supply was nuts until about 7 weeks and then it settled down and I stopped getting engorged etc and by 3 months we were smooth sailing.

We had a setback at around 4 months when I STUPIDLY doubted my supply and started comping - nearly lost our relationship. But with the support of Barb Glare and an LC we got it sorted in around 3 weeks and we are now 9 MONTHS down the track and we are going so so strong that I think weaning will be self led and I don't care if she's 30 LOL

Honey, in all that I've learned there are 4 main things to remember:

1) NEVER doubt yourself, your baby or your supply. There's this weird little bond that goes between your boobs and your baby - and sadly, you don't have much control over it LOL

2) When everything seems too hard or there are too many bumps in the road - DON'T ACT ON IT until you've consulted the ABA or an LC......honestly, these people are worth their weight in gold

3) Enjoy whatever you offer your baby. If you go for 2 months and decide you've had enough - be proud of the 2 months you've given bub provided YOU are ready to wean. Most times it's permanent, so don't make the decision in haste. If you want to go longer, blow off the negativity you may get from people when you're seen feeding an "older" baby. Bugger the world, this is about you and your baby.

4) Don't ever feel guilty for what you have/haven't given your first or subsequent baby. I had terrible guilt for not fighting harder to BF my DS son - but I can't change it.

I hope that helps love, and we are all here if you ever need it xx

[sloane]

i don't think they're silly comments at all! it's just honestly how you're feeling.

our journey has been pretty stress-free in hindsight. early on i was incredibly stressed - but part of that was not being educated quite enough & also being a bit of a freaked-out first time mum with raging hormones

i've never had supply issues, mastitis, grazing....i've had sore nipples a couple of times but, for me, lanisoh has cleared it up between feeds - even when the feeds were every 2 hours, 24 hours a day.

actually, i'm quite embarassed about a couple of threads i started early on. what a stress head

wishing you all the best for a happy & successful BFing journey with your LO - however long it may be

[Jennifer13]

I can't say I ever 'loved' bfing, but I sure loved the convenience!

The LC at the hospital where I went with DD explained that the ease of feeding methods was like a graph:

|
|_________________________
|
|_________________________
Bottlefeeding - same all the time

|__
| \____
|_______\_________________
Breastfeeding - can start off with more difficulty, but becomes much, much easier in time. The time will vary from one mother and baby pair to another.

TBH I had a very easy start with DD and when we did come up against a couple of challenges (I had mastitis multiple times - but that was over an 18 mth period) it made it much easier to get past those, because 99.9% of the time it was no fuss, no cost, easy and convenient! Plus, I did think that the few issues I had were worth it to prevent possible issues for DD, both in the short and longer term, because of the benefits to her of bfing.

I was petrified I'd have issues with bfing DD and I have no idea why - so don't feel silly for saying that, especially since you know you did have issues first time around.

[Jakabella]

Thanks everyone fir taking time to reply! You have all given me so much hope and I'm only a lil bit scared now!
I love BB xo