Have you tried wrapping her? I know my little one needed to be wrapped, this way she felt like she was being held even once I layed her down whilst continuing to pat her bum for a while.

I also agree that co-sleeping sounds like a good idea for you.

When my DD was little she would also feed and them fall asleep and when I tried to retrieve my nipple she would madly suck and start to cry, this happens with all babies, I got into the habit of gently popping my pinky finger into the corner of the mouth to release the suction, this way I was yanking it out and therefore most of the time she wouldn't madly suck for it (if this makes sense) them I would continue to pat to ensure she was in a deep sleep and start the transition to bed.

As the above posted have said, the first weeks are difficult but it does get better, please use us for strength and knowledge and stick with it, you will be amazed at how much easier it becomes